Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Review of Memoir "Two More Years"


“What do you do?”

 

That’s the most common thing we ask—or so it seems to me—when first meeting someone. Generally, we mean, “What work do you do?” The answer helps us place the person in a category with others who do the same work. It gives us a starting point for discussion.

 

We could ask, “What’s your favorite movie?” Or, “What hobby do you enjoy?” Or, “What’s your best memory? Your worse?” The list goes on, depending on our own interests, our willingness to hear, “It’s none of your business,” or our ability to hear . . . and see . . . beyond the mask many of us wear. 

 

The questions, the answers for which I find myself most interested at this stage of my life, is “What do you ‘be’?” 

 

And “Do you be grateful for being?”

 

And “What have you learned in being?”

 

It is these three questions that are the main threads in the tapestry of events that make up the recently published memoir Two More Years by E. C. Stilson.

 

A memoir about living with Stage 4 melanoma of the bone may sound—and could be—a downer. A real deep down dark downer! However, Two More Years uplifts this reader, who is, admittedly, a friend of the author. 

 

At least that’s what happened when I read the memoir before bed during the last week. I read only a chapter or two at a time—not because of vision constraints but because my mind needed to consider, perhaps ponder, the story, the attitude, the experience, the philosophy of life, the gift the author was sharing with me.

 

Before reading her words, I knew first-hand that Elisa does not want to be defined by cancer. And yet, how can she not be for what she is experiencing is a defining moment in her life. A moment, which, like the 2020 Pandemic, halves our lives into “before” and “after.” 

 

In this defining moment that spans what? Weeks? Months? Years? Elisa has chosen to take the definition and flip it. Turn it on its head. She lets us know what cancer has done, is doing, may do to her body and to her sense of self. It is that she shares with us. That is, she lets us know what it has taken from her . . . and her family. 

 

Then, in almost each chapter, she shares with us what this insidious disease has given to her. It takes; it gives, just as any disease does. This memoir explores both the taking and the giving. As well, it reveals to us the possibilities of growth in the human spirit through the journey into the dark caverns of possibly a terminal illness. 

 

Yes, that journey, but also another: the journey into the glades of gratitude that await someone whose essence has been and continues to be that of joy.

 

My experience of Elisa is that she is like the sun. By that I mean that the sun lights up the day. When she comes into a room, she lights it up. She radiates joy and lifts our spirits—in life and in language.

 

 Throughout the memoir, she relates how the disease is progressing: when it retreats; when it advances; when it teases with expectations and when it disappoints with the advent of new tumors, new scans, new immunotherapy, new prognoses. 

 

It’s all there: the fear and the sorrow as well as the hope and the faith.

 

But what is also there—what is the main thrust of the story—is the realization on her part that she is One with everyone she meets. Twice before in these postings, I’ve quoted Philo of Alexandria who said, two millennia ago, “Be kind, for everyone we meet is fighting a great battle.” 

 

Elisa’s memoir uplifts instead of downloads. That is, she relates how again and again in the past months she has met someone who seemed to have a life much more “charming” than hers. Must less fragile. And, through conversation, listening, and opening her heart to possibilities, she finds that the person also is fighting “a great battle.” 

 

And aren’t we all? 

 

In some way, at some time in the span of our life, we fight a battle that can temper the steel of our being. What I find in her memoir—Two More Years (the prognosis given her in November 2020)—is that her tempering has led to great gratitude and a deep appreciation for the Oneness that connects us to all engaged in the battle to find, at the deep center of ourselves/the wellspring, the fortitude to embrace the moment, to live in the present, and to sing—yes, sing!—of the Holy Oneness of All Creation. 

 

That is, to understand that all of us are united in the quest to find the praise of gratitude. 

 

Peace.

 

PS: I’d give you a link for Elisa’s memoir on Amazon, but Google, to which I’m tied with this blog, seems to have done something that (1) doesn’t permit me to link and (2) doesn’t permit me to leave comments. I’m not sure whether you will be able to leave comments. But no worry, no sweat. Let’s just take wish the best to one another.




9 comments:

  1. I love the Philo of Alexandria quote, “Be kind, for everyone we meet is fighting a great battle.” The world would be such a better place if we could all do that.

    I've had trouble leaving comments on my own blog too. I've found out that if I log out and log back on again Bloggers will let me or if I go to another server. Very annoying glitch.

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  2. I'm going to try to find this book and order it. Thank you so much for this gift, Dee. And blessings to you for all that you do!

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  3. “What have you learned in being?”

    I think this is one of the best Meaning of Life questions I have ever heard.

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  4. Thank you so much. This is a book (and a lesson) I will have to absorb.

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  5. I know from her Facebook posts what an amazing and beautiful person Elisa is and I am eager to read her book. In case anyone needs a link, it is here.
    https://www.amazon.com/Two-More-Years-EC-Stilson-ebook/dp/B09Z2ZG269/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2X2LLQQ8C7UGK&keywords=two+more+years+ec+stilson&qid=1652815148&sprefix=Two+more+years+%2Caps%2C234&sr=8-1

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  6. Elisa must be an amazing young woman. I too am interested in reading her words. At the moment I have 2 dear friends going through something similar. One just lost her husband to Melanoma and the other's daughter is in the end stage of breast cancer. This book may help me help them... in any way that's possible.

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  7. So many lives lost to cancer, my own mother's; friends, relatives. My mother always said one need only look about to find people in worse shape. Even when my brother was dying. The world is populated with so many find people.

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  8. precious friend Dee thank you for this uplifting sharing .Elisa seems such inspirational young lady with astonishingly positive mindset !
    i specially adore you for making us familiar to her and how she is surviving this disease and all the negativity that it can bring to one meanwhile. my own mother remained victim of throat cancer in last year of her life.she was a very strong person yet she lost that battle (willingly that is what i felt due to some critical circumstances) so what i mean is that in such harsh times what matters most is person's wish to fight back and will power which Elisa does not lack luckily .book by her sounds amazing and worth reading indeed and can inspire so many others .
    thank you for filling my day and soul with light of hope and positivity always :) hugs and blessings

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  9. Elisa is certainly coping well with the challenge she has been given. I've always thought we never know what others we encounter each day are experiencing, so offer a smile -- it takes so little energy.

    Nina Simone is one of my favored singers as it this song she sings.

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