Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Making Heaven Interesting


For me, fear and desperate planning filled the first three months of Grade 5. I had to somehow avoid Mr. Jackson’s groping hand when he drove me and his sons and daughter and my little brother to and from school. Grade 6, however, went well. No trauma that I can remember except for Dad’s drinking and the loud arguments between him and Mom. I kept hiding the hammer, axe, and knives for fear that during one of those drunken arguments he’d try to kill her again.
         In fact, I remember the fall months of 1947 with enjoyment for it was then that I first studied ancient history. One November day, while reading about the Grecian city-state of Thebes, I had a déjà vu moment and roamed the streets leading up to its ancient citadel. The present merged with the past and I became Theban. That experience led me to visit Greece in 1993 and work on a Bronze-Age-Greece novel.  
  
    Remains of Cadmea, the central fortress of ancient Thebes.

         The other vivid memory I have of Grade 6 concerns heaven. Over and over in religion class Sister Mary McCauley talked about the afterlife.    

      Dante and Beatrice gaze at the highest heavens.

         “What will we do in heaven,” I asked one day.
         “Why, Dolores, you’ll praise God for all His glory and beauty and goodness. You’ll sing, ‘Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God of Hosts. Heaven and Earth are filled with your glory!”
         “That’s it?”
         “Yes. Isn’t it glorious?”
         Clearly, she thought so.
         I didn’t.
         The truth was that hell, despite its flames, sounded much more interesting. No mealy-mouthed humans there.

Medieval illustration of Hell 
in the Hortus deliciarum manuscript
of Herrad of Landsberg—about 1180.

         So I thought. And thought. And thought some more about how to make heaven appealing. After alighting from the school bus one afternoon, I ran up the rutted driveway, into the unpainted house, and called out, “Mom!”
         “I’m here. In the kitchen.”
         Dumping my books on the divan, I hurried to the kitchen where Mom stood at the range, stirring a steaming pot of macaroni. 
         “Mom!” I shouted. “You know how heaven being boring bothers me?”
         “Yes.”
         “God seems so conceited. All He wants is to be praised all the time. And it just goes on and on and on with no ending. It scares me. Everything ends. What’s the end of heaven?”
         “It’s the end of life I know about, Dolores. We die and we’re with God.”
         “But just saying, ‘Holy, Holy,’ all the time gets monotonous. I’d like talking with people.” I paused and then confided that God simply wasn’t enough for all eternity.
         “He’s pretty wonderful,” she said.
         “Well, if dead people have been telling Him that since the Neanderthals”—we’d started our study of ancient history with them that year—“then He must be sort of tired of it all by now. Wouldn’t you think so?”
         “Possibly.”
         “So here’s my idea! When I get to heaven I’m going to ask God—as a favor—if He’d show me a movie of every person who’s ever lived—even those babies in Limbo. Going all the way back to the Neanderthals.”
         “Sounds interesting.”
         “Yes," I agreed enthusiastically. "And that’s not all. I’ll ask to see not only the people but also what they thought and what they said and what they dreamed about! And I’ll see and hear their conversations when they were alive. I’ll watch their whole lives! The life of every person!”
         As Mom drained the macaroni, she summed it up. “So you’re going to see a long movie?”
         “The longest ever, Mom. It’ll go on and on because people keep dying and I’d keep seeing movies of their lives. Maybe God will even give me popcorn! Buttered!”
         I went to bed content that night. An eternity of stories . . . and buttered popcorn.        

All photographs are from Wikipedia.


         

58 comments:

  1. What an imaginative little girl, who grew to be such a creative woman.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Dear Janie, thank you for the compliments! They're uplifting my spirits! Peace.

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  2. I'd pay 12.95 to see that movie. Even without the popcorn. But I'd have to have my Peanut M&Ms. Because it wouldn't be Heaven without them. :)

    Peace to you my friend.

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    1. Dear Juli, for me in sixth grade, a Valomelt would have been delicious. Now it would be a Heath bar or a Peppermint York pattie. Peace.

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  3. As one convert girl to another, those nuns never told us anything exciting.

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    1. Dear Annie--Convent Girl--on my other blog, the one about writing, I posted last fall a couple of stories about Sister Mary McCauley, who taught me in both fifth and sixth grades. She was a wonderful teacher and really got me interested in writing, but her whole idea of heaven lacked the excitement that would impress a young girl. Or at least that's how I felt then......and now! Peace.

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  4. But all the nicks of a razor blade for a young girl. I hate the notion of Hell is for Children being true....
    I'm very glad you made it through to be the wonderful person you are. ~Mary

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    1. Dear Mary, my whole concept of heaven and hell has changed in the many years since 6th grade. But at the time, I accepted the concept preached by the Roman Catholic Church, but I had to find a way around it even as an eleven-year-old. Peace.

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    1. Dear Joanne, that's a great term! Thanks for it. Peace.

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  6. A very creative solution to a problem that never occurred to me! :-)

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    1. Dear Lorna, the problem hit me in 6th grade, but even before that I was worried about this never-ending stuff. It mystified me. Truly scared me. Peace.

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  7. Your heaven sounds wonderful! You know, as far back as I can remember I never believed in a heaven or hell??? even though I was raised Catholic. Hmmm you just raised an interesting memory. Love your stories...you were so creative!!!

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    1. Dear Turquoisemoon, I'm glad you liked my 6th grade heaven. My beliefs have changed so much since then but I still get a kick out of that eleven-year-old child and how she attacked this problem of a boring heaven. Peace.

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  8. I agree with you! The heaven the nuns told us about didn't sound "heavenly" for anyone but the most boring Goody-Two-Shoes types! There's so much I don't remember about my childhood I'd be happy just to see family movies---My mother's life, my father's, what life was like for them when my grandparents were children! One grandma was a farmer's wife, the other a vet's. I'd give anything to have first hand accounts of what it was like for them. make sure you let God know this is the kind of heaven we'd like!

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    1. Dear Molly, like you, I'd so like to view movies--or read books--about my ancestors. Mom and Dad seldom spoke about the past or their upbringing and they both died young: Mom at 58 and Dad at 69. I was just 32 when Mom died and hadn't asked the questions that now flood my mind. Peace.

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  9. I guess I should be glad I wasn't raised in any religion, giving me the chance to figure it out for myself. I've always thought Heaven and Hell were manufactured places, sort of like Disneyland. :-)

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    1. Dear DJan, I'm pretty much in agreement with you now. Actually, by the time I was in the convent I'd given up on the traditional view--preached by Christians--of what heaven and hell were. And I came up with my own scenario of the afterlife.
      I'm glad you didn't have to live with those early interpretations. Peace.

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  10. Popcorn! Buttered! Such a scrumptious, joyful thought. Children are close to God, I believe. Much closer than adults sometimes make them feel. In matters of faith, they have much to teach. I want to strive to become like a little child, because, in my belief, the One who created all and is holy became a little child, the most humble act ever. Thank you for this dear memory.

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    1. Dear Deanna, yes, I so agree with you that we have much to learn from children. There is an innocence there to embrace. And most children--the ones who haven't known abuse or abandonment--trust that all shall be well. Peace.

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  11. Yeah heaven or hell is a figment of many an imagination I say, but I like yours and using words such as monotonous at that time, geez look at you go.

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    1. Dear Pat, Sister Mary McCauley and the nuns who'd taught me in earlier grades really stressed vocabulary. So we ended up with a lot of words to use in our thinking and our classroom assignments in writing. I'm grateful for that. I wonder who taught you about rhyme and rhyming? Did you teach yourself or did some teacher inspire you? Peace.

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  12. If Heaven is a movie with buttered popcorn & Hell is, well, Hell, would Limbo be waiting in line to get in?

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    1. Dear Fishducky, now that's a thought!!!! Of course, the Roman Catholic Church has now done away with Limbo. What power! Peace.

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  13. That is the best idea ever!

    Who knows what comes after, heaven, hell, being reborn or nothing. It is all a guess, based on what your parent's religion or belief has drummed into you since birth. I believe anything is possible, but one is probable. I close no doors.

    If your scenario happened, then maybe I could find out who killed JFK.

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    1. Dear Arleen, like you, I try not to close any doors--to be open to possibility. I've let go of the concept of heaven and hell as preached by Christians and come up with my own view now. But those movies still sound good to me! Peace.

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  14. You had me laughing so hard at your idea that the nun's version of Heaven would be boring. I would have thought the exact same thing.
    I really, really like your idea on how to liven it up. That would be fascinating. Loved this post.

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    1. Dear Arkansas Patti, I'm so tickled that you laughed at the posting. That makes my day. Peace.

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  15. Oh gosh Dee I love hearing these stories.

    "...you’ll praise God for all His glory and beauty and goodness. You’ll sing, ‘Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God of Hosts..."

    Interesting that the nuns thought the above would excite a little girl.
    Your Mum sounds like great!

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    1. Dear Rosie, the end of that quote--which I didn't include in the posting--is "hosanna in the highest." All that praise of a God who seemed to need praising just seemed so conceited to me. Why would I believe in such a god?????? And yes, my mom was great, I'm glad that comes through in the posting. Peace.

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  16. I thought it sounded boring, too. Maybe for the first day or so it would be good, but after that, not so much.

    Personally, I think both places are a state of mind.

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    1. Dear Linda, I agree with you. I wonder if you've always thought this and been taught this or have you come to it after years of living. Peace.

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  17. Dee, I like the way you think! What an enjoyable post~

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    1. Dear Shelly, thank you. I enjoyed writing it so it's a gift to know that others enjoyed reading it. Peace.

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  18. Dee
    What an imagination for a little girl. I love it that you want to be a lurker in heaven and watch movies with buttered pop corn. That would spice it up for you, for sure. I wonder what your Mother's thoughts were after you told her.

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    1. Dear Manzanita, thanks for the word "lurker"! I never thought of that when I remembered that 6th grader and her dream for heaven. Now I can see her lurking there--like a peeping Tom! I, too, wonder what Mom thought. She often told me that I could do anything I put my mind to. She was a wonderful parent. Peace.

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  19. And it couldn't be heaven without cats, and birds, and flowers ...
    I do like the long-playing movie, but would need to go away and think about it. I have trouble with movies. I usually like to stop and think and perhaps replay. Which is why I am a reader.
    And one of the reasons I am so grateful that you are a writer. Thank you Dee - so very much.

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    1. Dear EC, yes. yes. yes. Heaven needs cats and birds and flowers. Someone recently told me about a Robin Williams' movie about heaven. I plan to watch it on Netflic.

      LIke you, I like to go back in a book and reread passages and see how they relate to the page I'm on. But I am enjoyed watching all the episodes of "Doc Martin" on the iPad, which was a Christmas gift from a dear friend. Peace.

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  20. That's so funny!! I thought heaven sounded like a dreadful, boring, dull place, too!!! I couldn't imagine not learning new things and interacting with people. So I decided that my goal was to eventually be good enough to be able to come back as a guardian angel--so that I could be back here on this glorious, complicated earth and be helping somebody for their entire life...and then another person...and another. I'd know their thoughts and dreams and sorrows and joys--and help them on their path whenever they asked (and maybe sometimes when they didn't). So VERY, VERY similar to what you wanted to do!! Brings a tear to my eye and makes me grin ear to ear just thinking about it. :):)

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    1. Dear Rita, your goal was a great one! So creative. And it shows again that you are a storyteller because you wanted to be part of the story of humans--one right after they other. What an imagination you had and how compassionate you are to want to help all others. Peace.

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  21. Dee, you were obviously such an imaginative and thoughtful child and I love the way your mind worked back then. My Congregationalist upbringing didn't go into the detail your Catholic one obviously did and I can't remember the thought that heaven might be boring ever crossing my little mind. :-)

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    1. Dear Perpetua, if you have the chance, read Rita's comment above. She, too, thought of a way to make heaven an endless adventure! Peace.

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  22. Dearest Dee,
    I absolutely love history, all of it...its so fascinating to me.
    I also think much about Heaven, although I don't allow it to dominate my thoughts. I have read so much on the Out of the Body Experiences. D.L.Moody wrote a book that I read about 30yrs ago. It was called, On the Other Side. In this he wrote of many different true stories related to him from people who had died and experienced both Heaven and Hell. He also conducted an experiment of placing a dying person on a scale bed to see what happened when they died. He informed that there are actually a small weigh loss at the time of death?? (spirit and soul leaving). Years ago much fear was planted into the minds of people about the fire of hell. I believe this was used to coerce a terror in people to attend church and to hand over money (the early church called this paying your way out of Purgatory.) The Bible talks of NO such place, so this is a lie. I watched the story of Martin Luther in the DVD called "Luther,"(can be rented from video stores) and was very surprised at how the church called him a heretic for telling the truth and denouncing the lies..They even tried to burn him at the stake... God explicitly commanded that No-one can change what He has written.... so the church is accountable for much wrongdoing. Jesus died on the Cross for our sins...and the way to Heaven is to simply believe that, and try to live our life by His example. He paid the price for our sins, once and for all time. Its a free ticket to Heaven, by the love he gave to us. xx Hugs..
    A child of an Atheist visited Heaven which was incredible because she had never heard of it.
    Watch Her Story....its Amazing!!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzKz3RuZXU0

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    1. Dear Crystal Mary, as you know, you and I are not on the same page with regard to faith or Christianity. And still, we respect one another's journey through life and through the labyrinth of our own thoughts and dreams and beliefs. That's what is important I think: that we leave one another the space to find our moorings. To find the place and the faith tradition that fits our needs and our experience of life and humanity. The journey I think is never over nor the answers ever etched in stone. It is a journey of possibility of growth in the human spirit. I find that journey deeply satisfying. I hope you do also. Peace.

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  23. I remember having the same thought when I was a child. While I certainly didn't want to end up in Hell, floating around on a cloud singing hymns for all eternity didn't sound like paradise to me. It was hard to get excited about a heaven that wasn't attractive, except as an alternative to Hell.
    Fortunately the vast majority of what we've come to believe about heaven and hell seems to be imaginations and inventions of the Middle Ages. The ancient eschatological vision of an age to come, in which heaven and earth will merge, all violence, pain and suffering will end, swords will be hammered into plowshares, leopards will lie down with lambs, and we'll all build houses and plant vineyards in peace, seems much more attractive.

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  24. Dear Bill, I so agree, and I always thought that I'd like to watch someone hammer a sword into a plowshare. I couldn't quite imagine how that happened and it intrigued me. Of course, I've always been a cat person and so I also wanted to see leopards and lambs cuddling together.

    Thanks for stopping by and leaving a message. I plan to view your blog now. Peace.

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  25. That sounds like true heaven to me, too, Dee! Stories -- for eternity!

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    1. Dear Kathy, I thought it would appeal to you. In fact, I thought of you when I remembered the story and then wrote it! Peace.

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  26. Aren't you just a little afraid that will be like blog-hopping for eternity? That's a lot of cat photos. I mean, I like cats, but...

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    1. Dear Murr, yes a lot of cat photos and dogs, especially puppies, also. But eternity is a long time...............and I might even have to look at reruns! Oh, I guess spiritual philosophers would call that reincarnation! Peace.

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  27. I never thought of movies of other people’s lives. i just thought how boring it would be
    to sit on a cloud and play the harp for all eternity.

    And the people who said that they’d definitely go to heaven were all so desperately boring themselves.

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    1. Dear Friko, yes, boring, boring, boring, sitting like a cherub on a cloud and playing the harp with stubby fingers! And yes, I do find really off-putting those people who seem so self-assured about the questions of after life and their place there. Remember that song "I"m going to live 'til I die. Gonna laugh 'stead of cry. Until my number's up, I'm going to fill my cup. I'm going to live, live, live until I die"????? That's the spirit I've always thought. Peace.

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  28. What a precious memory! I bet your mother chuckled a lot of this day.

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    1. Dear Susan, I think my mom found both my brother and me entertaining! He was always up to something! Peace.

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  29. This reminds me of "What Dreams May Come." I LOVE that movie. It shows such a neat spin on the afterlife.

    But I have to say that I would love playing the violin for God for eternity. I guess I'll always be a musician at heart no matter how much I try doing other things. I love the idea of getting lost in the music, just as an act of thanking God for even letting me live.

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    1. Dear Elisa, your idea is a lovely one because you don't simply play the violin you truly make music. That is a great act of gratitude for the gifts you've been given. Peace.

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  30. Oh, Dee, how I love your child's eye view and your imagination and I feel so privileged to be reading this and appreciate having the chance to read all of the comments here.
    I'm sitting here on a pristine spring afternoon. The temperature is perfect, which is hardly ever is in these parts. I can hear the birds calling and I can almost feel the plants growing and I hear the silence in my house and wonder right now if this isn't just about a perfect moment to be. Maybe my heaven is now.

    Thank you, Dee, for always sharing, for your passion and kindness and lessons.

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    1. Dear Penny, since that brilliant idea!!!! of mine all those years ago, my vision of a heaven and a hell have changed just as my idea of a Supreme Being has changed. I suspect that I'll be lying on my deathbed and still be exploring the questions of afterlife and God and our place in the scheme of things. But your finding heaven in the presence of beauty and nature seems to me to be just about right. Peace.

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