(Continuation of postings on random acts of kindness . . . )
Nearly
forty-seven years ago I left Mount Saint Scholastica Convent in Atchison,
Kansas, after living there for eight and one-half years: as a postulant for six
months; as a novice for a year; as a scholastic, having taken first vows, for
three years; and as a professed nun, having made final vows, for four years.
Many
changes took place in the Roman Catholic Church after the ending of the Second
Vatican Council in 1965. One of those changes was that many nuns left the
convent. I myself walked away from that life of prayer and work on Christmas
Eve in 1966.
Part of a stained-glass window in the choir chapel. It portrays Saint Scholastica.
Because
only a handful of nuns had left by then, the convent had no procedure for
wishing a woman well on her journey. All of us there were still wearing the
habit and the convent provided no “lay” clothing or any money with which to get
started in that new life.
Of
course, we had brought nothing to the convent, such as a dowry, so the convent
had no obligation to give an allowance or stipend to anyone who left. In fact,
I didn’t expect anything because I was the one leaving the convent; it wasn’t
leaving me.
My
mom and dad drove up on December 24 with clothes my pregnant sister-in-law
loaned me. For the next four weeks, I stayed at home with Mom and Dad until
starting to work for a publishing company in Dayton, Ohio. The company flew me
to Dayton and gave me an advance on my salary so that I could rent a room at
the Loretta Home for Working Women and pay for my meals.
Within
six months of my leaving, the Atchison nuns had voted to change from their
habit to “regular” clothes and to provide a basic wardrobe and a stipend to
anyone who left. This was in keeping with the Benedictine tradition of
responding compassionately to the needs of others. And it speaks to the
generosity of the women there—a generosity that continues to this day and that
was in great evidence this past weekend.
The statue
of Saint Benedict at the Mount, with the choir chapel in the background.
The
Mount monastery—this designation is more in keeping with the Benedictine Rule
than the word convent—is celebrating
its sesquicentennial throughout 2013. As part of that celebration the Mount
invited all its ex-nuns to return to be part, once again, of a community that
helped form each of us into the women we are today.
Sister
Mary Grace—who is truly full of grace—headed the committee that researched
which ex-nuns were still alive. She sent out 135 invitations and 45 of us
accepted. Of those 45, however, only 43 arrived at the Mount on Saturday, May 25,
because two had fallen ill. (In fact, one of them died this past Monday.)
A
friend from convent days—Paullene Caraher, whom you met in my Tuesday
posting—now lives in Arizona. She arrived at my home on Thursday evening and we
began our visit.
Neither
of us had married, so we had no pictures of children and grandchildren to
share. But our friendship, which began in the fall of 1962 when we taught
together, rested on a solid foundation, so there was no awkwardness despite the
fact that we hadn’t seen one another since about 1985 when she visited me in
Minnesota.
We
spent Friday talking a mile a minute about our former lives as nuns, what we’d
done since leaving the convent, and our plans for the future. When we drove up
to the Mount on Saturday morning for a day and a half of visiting with the nuns
still there and the ex-nuns who’d returned, we continued to talk and laugh and
talk some more about all that had happened in the past fifty years.
Most
of us had been Benedictine nuns in 1963 when the Mount celebrated its
centennial. Between that time and today, so much has changed in the monastery.
And it is those changes, as well as the hospitality of the nuns still there and
their kindness toward each of us who returned, that I want to share with you
next Wednesday when I return to my regular posting routine.
So
my random-act-of-kindness story today is simply the graciousness of a group of
nuns living in Atchison, Kansas. They reached out to those who had once prayed
and worked with them and said, “You have been and will always be part of our
community. Peace.”
Both photographs are from the Mount website and are
shared here with the consent of the prioress.
PS: I’ll continue my five random-acts-of kindness stories on
Friday and Saturday. You’ll meet Marge Tansley, who was at the Mount this past
weekend, and Sister Madonna. Next Wednesday, I hope to conclude today’s posting
on the sesquicentennial and the Mount. Click here to go to the monastery’s
website for photographs and explanations of its prayer and work and the living
of the Rule of Saint Benedict.
Great how no matter where you go and grow, you still are welcome to come back, surely doesn't lack.
ReplyDeleteDear Pat, your poetic, rhyming words hit the nail on the head! Peace.
DeleteI love how you describe the convent's changes. My great aunt is a nun in Washington DC. She is celebrating her 50h anniversary with the church. They are sending her to Paris. :) It's so amazing to me how different the churches are, and how caring they can be.
ReplyDeleteDear Juli, I'm so glad to learn that your great aunt is going to Paris to celebrate her anniversary. That's one of the big changes in convents.....and a welcome one. When I was in the convent all those years ago, we couldn't even go home unless someone was sick unto death. Peace.
DeleteThose friends with whom we can fall into step without missing a beat, even after many years absence, are the best. It sounds like a wonderful time of reunion, in the best sense of that word.
ReplyDeleteDear Teresa, yes, we treasure those friends with whom we have such a firm foundation of understanding and acceptance and love. Peace.
DeleteI'm SO glad you're feeling well enough to post again!!
ReplyDeleteDear Fishducky, I am so much better. Thanks for your concern. Peace.
DeleteI forgot about the clothing, but it was in that time period for my aunt's order. She taught, and was so concerned her students would be startled by her pure white hair she kept a head covering. All those aunts and uncles, and my father, had lovely white hair.
ReplyDeleteDear Joanne, some nuns at the Mount also still wear their habits. These have become, I think, like a second skin to them. But most of the nuns--white-haired or not--donned lay clothing. Peace.
DeleteI'm so glad your reunion went so well, Dee. You had all shared so much in the religious life and that obviously made unbreakable bonds between many of you. It's so interesting to read how the sisters responded to the reforms of Vatican 2 and how their attitudes changed and developed.
ReplyDeleteDear Perpetua, the nuns did respond to the reforms and rather quickly embraced them. It's the monks that have remained truly conservative. And its the hierarchy which has turned away from Vatican 2 in the last forty years. Or at least many in the hierarchy. It's a shame as John XXIII was truly trying to open the window to freshness in the Church. A real renewal. But ultimately it got squashed. Peace.
DeleteSounds like you had a wonderful time of reunion! Interesting about what happened when you left....I had never thought about not having any clothing to take with you.
ReplyDeleteDear Nancy, I was lucky that my sister-in-law was pregnant because I had no money nor did my parents. Well, they had enough to buy me a winter coat and hat and a pair of shoes. They were so loving toward me and concerned about my state of health. Peace.
DeleteI've heard about Vatican 2, and it's interesting to read about what happened in Atchison. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Dear Janie, Vatican 2 is an interesting event to study. So much happened and then so much was, as I said to Perpetua, squashed. Peace.
DeleteIt must have been special to see your old friends again. I'm also thinking, as I read this, about the different parts our lives have taken and yet we, you and I, became such good friends.
ReplyDeleteDear Inger, yes, truly, two roads diverged in a yellow wood and we both took a road that led to us meeting through blogs and becoming friends. Life truly is mysterious. Peace.
DeleteI'm having internet trouble and am tapping this out on my phone, but I so enjoyed this post and all I learned from it. The reunion sounds like it was wonderful! I hope you get to feeling better soon-
ReplyDeleteDear Shelly, I'm feeling so much better today--Saturday. I haven't the energy yet to spend time reading and commenting on blogs but I hope that by Monday I'll be raring to go! I've missed reading your postings. Peace.
DeleteIt sounds like you had such a wonderful time. Those women must be absolutely amazing :)
ReplyDeleteDear Elisa, they are about as amazing as you are! Peace.
DeleteShared experiences are such a joy to relive, especially if it shaped so much of your lives. I am so happy that you had that pleasure last week. What a wonderful time that must have been for you and your friends.
ReplyDeleteI hope, dear Dee, that you are feeling better today.
Dear Arleen, thank you for asking how I'm feeling. I'm much better today--Saturday. I posted my last kindness story this morning. I really don't see how anyone can post every day. Doing that took all the energy I've had this week. But I hope to get back to blogging--reading and commenting--on Monday. See you then. Peace.
DeleteI love, love, love that those wonderful women still keep you all in their community and their hearts. And I hope your headache is much better. Gone in fact.
ReplyDeleteDear EC, the generosity and hospitality of these women at the Mount is somethng I will always cherish. Peace.
DeleteVery interesting, Dee. Have you ever blogged about WHY you became a nun --and then WHY you left???? I'd be interested in hearing more of your story. SO INTERESTING.
ReplyDeleteGlad you had a great time at the 'reunion' with the nuns... God Bless ALL of YOU.
Hugs,
Betsy
Dear Betsy, here's a posting I did on why I entered: http://www.cominghometomyself.blogspot.com/2011/06/entering-convent.html
DeleteToday, Saturday, I posted about leaving and linked today's post to three I wrote back in 2011 about leaving. These might answer your questions. Peace.
Isn't it interesting how we form these bonds so early in life that are so strong that they hold decades later? Your time of reunion sounds so very special and affirms those years together, Dee. I have been acquainted with several former nuns, and a former priest, in my years; all good people whom I've admired, and whom have all, like you, given so much to society.
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering if you've been watching the latest episodes of Call the Midwife, Dee; specifically the Sister Bernadette (I think that was her name) who leaves the convent. I was taken with how beautifully the sisters and the nurses handled it all. I know this was an Anglican order, but, would be interested in how you felt about it.
At any rate, dear Dee, rest and protect your health.
Dear Penny, I've watched the entire series for "Call the Midwife" and enjoyed it immensely. The superior is a woman of great good sense and beautiful compassion. I am so impressed with her.
DeleteAs to the leave-taking from the convent, it made me cry. The prioress of the Mount had a hard time with my leaving. She seemed almost angry at my decision. I suspect that she saw this as the beginning of the exodus from the convent of many other young nuns. And so she was, most likely, grieving. Peace.
So happy you are feeling better. What an interesting look into something I have never thought about. How does a nun leave if she wants to? You missed the help by 6 months but I wonder how many stayed prior to that change simply because they had no support system to go to or even clothes to wear.
ReplyDeleteThe reunion had to have been so very special and how nice they included those who had left.
Dear Arkansas Patti, the Benedictine Order is a papal one. By saying that, I mean that in order to leave a Benedictine convent a nun who has taken vows must get a letter from the Vatican dissolving her vows. I took a leave of absence for a year--the prioress suggested this because she realized how muddled I was--and had to apply a year later for finality. Peace.
DeleteI am so glad to hear about your friendships, the lovely women who once shared your religious life. When I was a young woman I thought about joining an Anglican community, but it didn't happen. It makes me fascinated to hear about your own journey and what it was like. And I am also glad you are feeling better again.
ReplyDeleteDear DJan, I've been surprised by readers' interest in the convent ever since the summer of 2011 when I first posted stories about my time there. I hope one day to collect all the convent stories into a memoir. This summer I'm going to return to posting about life in the convent as a scholastic, having taken vows.
DeleteI'm wondering what happened that you didn't join the Anglican community. Second thoughts or did you meet someone? Peace.
I am pleased that the sum of that part of your life is ultimetly positive. Regenerative. I am so glad you are feeling better.
ReplyDeleteDear Mary, I'm glad that readers see the truth of what you've pinpointed--the "the sum of that part" of my life "is ultimately positive." Regenerative is a fine word. Peace.
DeleteWhat a wonderful visit. So glad that you got a chance to spend some personal time with Paullene again, too. Awesome to think you were there 50 years ago for the last celebration! :)
ReplyDeleteDear Rita, truly a wonderful visit. And yes, I still have the sheet of music that we sang 50 years ago. One of the nuns both wrote the lyrics and the music for it. Peace.
DeleteWhat a wonderful reunion, Dee. The monastery was a part of your life at such a critical time in your own development, I can just imagine how much this has meant to you. It's like coming full circle and revisiting yourself as a young woman, but with the wisdom of what you've gained over many decades. I would imagine you feel very "full" as this time concludes. oxo Debra
ReplyDeleteDear Debra, next Wednesday, I hope to add more to the story of the sesquicentennial celebration. While walking to the cemetery at the monastery I found myself pondering questions about my leaving. I am such an idealistic that I often get mired in my own romanticism. Fortunately I am no long the young woman you mentioned. I'm not sure how much wisdom I've garnered over the decades, but what I have finally kicked in last Saturday evening and I remembered why leaving the convent was life-saving for me. Peace.
Delete