The Amazon/CreateSpace deadline
looms, and I’m still polishing the manuscript and crafting a pitch. This past
Sunday, in my writing blog, I detailed the “winnowing” that takes place during
the five months of the contest. If that process interests you, please click here.
Today,
I’m updating you on how I’m proceeding toward the entry gate of January 14 from
my late start on Wednesday January 2.
Because
I hadn’t read the manuscript for many months, I remembered only its highlights
and the story’s thrust. Given that, writing the pitch immediately would have
been best. Why? Because a pitch isn’t a synopsis. It’s the trail of delicious
tidbits that capture the browser’s attention, luring her or him into reading a
book.
Instead
of starting the pitch immediately, however, I began to polish the manuscript by
ruthlessly scouring it for descriptions and dialogue that delayed the forward
thrust of the story. Unfortunately, that work ensnared me in the manuscript’s
intricacies.
A
week has passed, and I’m two-thirds of the way through the manuscript’s
forty-nine chapters. It was 494 pages long; now it’s 475. It was 130,979 words long. Now
it’s 123,050. Given that, I may be able to get it down to 120,000 by the
12:00:01 U.S.EST entry opening on January 14.
The
problem now is that having immersed myself in the manuscript, I’m unable to see
the forest for the trees. So when I began writing my 300-word pitch this past
Monday, I ended up with a synopsis.
I
sent that pitch to two friends—one who’s read the manuscript and one who’s an
accomplished novelist. Last night the latter e-mailed me the following:
There
are so many names, so much going on, I don't know what the story is about. Is
Ephraim your main character? A Pharisaic scribe is confusing. Who is Hashem,
the Holy One? Then comes Daniel and someone who wades in the Jordan. Now Herod
Antipas. The Galilee and the exorcist Yeshua. Too much for a pitch.
Try
this. Who is your central character? Write about him. Try the old “who, what,
when, where, why” to settle your thinking. What is the conflict that he's
engaged in without getting into all the characters. . . . The pitch as it now
stands is too scrupulous. It tells everything. If you have a chance, get in the
mood by reading dust-jacket copy of a few novels. Tease the reader into wanting
to read your novel.
As
a suggestion, introduce your character in the first sentence. Begin the second
sentence with "but," which will state the conflict.
What’s
clear from this is that my first friend and myself are too close to the
action/story/plot of the novel. I need to back away and remember what prompted
its birth. Here’s what I mean by that: In a novelist’s mind, a story usually begins
with a simple question about a character, a setting, or an event. For instance:
“What happens when an envious man, who collects women as trophies, discovers
his best friend has committed adultery?”
Given
that one line, a novelist can craft compelling fiction.
Or a novelist
might ask, “What are the consequences of letting others define us?”
Or “If the polar ice
cap melts and the ocean level along the Atlantic Seaboard rises, how far will insurance
companies go to make a profit?”
Consider the tale of “Hansel
and Gretel,”
as illustrated by Arthur
Rackham in this 1909 cover.
What question might have
prompted the telling of this classic folk tale?
The writer who sent
the above e-mail got through two of the five eliminations
in the 2010 Amazon/CreateSpace contest. Because of that and because he’s had
more than ten books published, I take his comments seriously. So today, I’m
back at the computer, trying to remember what question prompted me to begin this
manuscript thirteen years ago.
As I write, I’ll
remember what Yoda said in Episode V of Star
Wars: “No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.”
The writing friend
who’d read the manuscript e-mailed me an article last night on writing query
letters, which are pitches to agents. If you’d like to read its short six-point
suggestions, click here.
As soon as I post
these words today, I begin to work on crafting an enticing pitch. Contentment
camps around me because I’m getting to do my most favorite activity—writing. I
hope your day is also a contented one. Peace.
Postscript: Many of
you left comments here last Wednesday and on my other blog this past Sunday
assuring me of your good wishes. So please don’t feel that you need to comment
again if time is precious today. Just know that I can feel your good wishes and
thoughts, prayers and visualizations. Thank you for them, ever and always.
Photograph Rackham cover from Wikipedia
