Today, I’m deviating from my recent decision to post every other week. The reason? Last week, my posting gave an inaccurate impression of how A Cat’s Life: Dulcy’s Storycame to be. I realized this when I read the comment left by Jean and when I reread the ending of my 2/23/20 posting.
Toward its end, I introduced a psychic who knew nothing about me and still said, “You’ve experienced great sorrow recently. The death of someone. Not a human. A cat. She’s your soulmate. It’s like your heart is broken.” Then, she told me that the cat and I were going to write a book about our relationship and it would touch the lives of many people.
Ending the posting, I wrote: A Cat’s Life: Dulcy’s Story happened.
All that is factual. What I failed to add in order to help readers appreciate what actually happened is the following: Dulcy died on Thursday, July 6, 1989. Two days later, I woke from a deep sleep and felt compelled to go downstairs to my computer.
Once there, I placed my hands on the keyboard, unsure of what was happening. Then my hands began to move. These words, like tickertape, appeared: “At the end, all the matters is love . . . my love for my human and hers for me. I have planted the memories of our life together in her heart. She will find them there when I am gone and they will comfort her.”
I hadn’t composed those words. They came unbidden. For the following week, I sat down at the computer each morning, unsure if Dulcy would continue. Astoundingly—to me—her words came each day. I said then and I believe now that the words came from Dulcy. That is, they came from the deep center of myself where Dulcy and I are One.
A week after Dulcy began to share our story with me, I got up from the computer and stood in the doorway to my office. Once again, unbidden, came words I hadn’t known I thought. Out loud, I said, “This book is going to be published. It’s going to be published by Crown. And it’s going to touch the lives of a lot of people.”
At the time, I didn’t even know if there was a publisher named “Crown.” I just knew with a fierce certainty that Dulcy was giving me the story of our relationship. This was her final gift to me. My final gift to her would be to see that it got published.
I called a neighbor to announce the wonder of the words that were coming. She, a published author, scoffed at what I described. “You’ll have to throw it all away,” she said. “The first draft’s just trash. That’s all you have. Trash.”
Her words wounded me, but I continued my vigil at the computer. Dulcy’s words continued to come. Still, the ridicule niggled my confidence. I’d never felt competent as a writer; I thought myself a hack—a hack who was unworthy of the gift Dulcy was giving me.
That’s the background for my early September visit to the psychic. When we met, she knew nothing about Dulcy’s daily gift to me. So when she said that Dulcy and I were going to write a book about our relationship and it would touch the lives of many people, I felt freed from my neighbor’s dismissal.
The psychic’s words matched mine; they shored up my own intuitions. They gave me confidence that the book would happen. That I was being true to Dulcy.
Peace.
PS: Next Sunday, I hope to write about the 2019 psychic whose words I let cast a blight on a year of my life.
I am so very, very glad that you were able to be true to Dulcy - and yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou benefited and a lot of other people did too. Which is a huge win.
Dear Sue, thank you for the words you used. I've never thought of my being true to Dulcy as leading to a "huge win," but you are right--it did. Peace.
DeleteI have read that book twice now and enjoyed it both times. It's a very special gift to many of us who have lost our loved ones. Thanks for the clarification. :-)
ReplyDeleteDear DJan, I'm just delighted that you've read Dulcy's book twice. She was and is such a blessing in my life. Peace.
DeleteDulcy touched my heart, love will do that. I'm so glad you found a way to share that love with so many, thus honoring this wonderful cat who truly understood what love is. We cannot be afraid to love those who may die before us, we cannot be afraid of the pain of that loss. The love will stay in our hearts and carry us through. My many dogs and cats have taught me that, but Dulcy gave words to that story of love. Actually, you and Dulcy did.
ReplyDeleteDear Inger, yes, you have loved so many dogs and cats, just as I have loved cats ever since 1972 when Dulcy chose me as I sat before her mother's litter. They have blessed us with their love and that is the gift that carries us through as you know so well. Peace.
Delete"She, a published author, scoffed at what I described. “You’ll have to throw it all away,” she said. “The first draft’s just trash. That’s all you have. Trash.”
ReplyDeleteEh. She sounds delightful.
"...I felt freed from my neighbor’s dismissal."
Oh! Wow!
Dear Sandi, I think of that neighbor as someone who--at least then, back in 1989--didn't have much imagination. Or perhaps wasn't able to walk in someone else's shoes! Peace.
DeleteI can't get over your neighbor telling you that “You’ll have to throw it all away. The first draft’s just trash. That’s all you have. Trash.” Sure, first drafts usually get revised and refined---it's part of the process---but her unfortunate choice of words was not supportive at all. It's to your credit that you keep on writing and brought the book to life.
ReplyDeleteDear Jean, I just knew that what was happening was something special and so, despite the words the neighbor said, I kept on. It was a time of great grace. Peace.
DeleteThat neighbour is a dill saying that you would have to trash it, what a silly thing to say
ReplyDeleteDear Jo-Anne, I'm unsure why the neighbor said that. I only know I felt the air go out of my lungs. But at the same time, I was sure that neighbor was wrong. I've always been so glad that I trusted my intuition . . . and Dulcy. Peace.
DeleteI'm thankful I've read so much of your work. Nothing struck me as amis.
ReplyDeleteDear Joanne, I'm glad. Thank you. Peace.
DeleteWow, that neighbor was a real pip. I am so glad you and Dulcy proved her wrong. Did you send her a copy of the published version? I would have to show her how wrong she had been.
ReplyDeleteDear Patti, the neighbor didn't remain in my life because I moved here to Missouri shortly after that. Peace.
DeleteIf any animal would put words into your heart and demand you put them on paper, it would be a cat! I’ve had five cats in my adult life and each one was or is a special little being with senses that are beyond mine. I sometimes put my head on Rosie’s and send her tons of love and try to “see” what she is thinking.
ReplyDeleteYour neighbor was most unkind and I’m glad you didn’t let her stop you because I enjoyed Dulcy’s book very much.
Dear Cynthia, I'm so pleased that you enjoyed Dulcy's first book. It was a true gift to me. And by the way, I've had an animal psychic come to my home three times over a period of 30 years and always she has explained that cats think in pictures and so we must picture with them how we'd like to change a habit they've developed. Your "seeing" is doing that! Peace.
DeleteOn the face of it the whole story sounds utterly unbelievable but, as you have experienced it, I suppose we must believe it. My dogs have never inspired me to writing although I love and miss each one of them dearly.
ReplyDeletePerhaps there’s hope yet?
Dear Friko, I was stunned when this happened. And many of those who read the book Dulcy gave me commented that it truly did seem as if a cat--as they knew cats--was specking. So I am just grateful for whatever happened. I know the missing of a cat . . . or a dog. They truly become one of the family. Peace.
ReplyDelete