Thursday, February 20, 2014

A Commitment to Myself . . . Please Hold Me to It!


Hello All, on this overcast day here in western Missouri where the cold is always a “wet” cold that creeps into the bones. Those of you who are regular readers of this blog know that since May 2011 it’s been my on-line memoir. Beyond these memoir stories, however, I also try to write other genres.
         Right now I have completed a novel—The Reluctant Spy, which takes place in first-century Palestine; a slim gift book—The Gift of Nine Lives, an illustrated fantasy for cat lovers; and a second gift book—Angelic Psalms, an illustrated book of lyrical verse for our troubles times.


         In addition, I have completed a first-draft for a novel about four ex-nuns; a partial for a novel that takes place in Bronze-Age Greece; and another gift book that is halfway completed. Much of this writing dates back years as I have a strong tendency to begin something, work steadily on it, then get bored with it, and put it aside for later.
         As I’ve worked on these various manuscripts, friends have encouraged me to try to get a memoir published. They believe it has the best chance of getting agent representation and publication. You may wonder why publication is important to me. Why isn’t simply writing enough?
         I believe that each of us is an artist in some way: some of us bake artisan’s bread; other listen with such sensitivity that they bring peace to our troubled waters; some of us dance or sing, compose music or create beauty in our gardens; some of us enjoy the stories, anecdotes, and jokes of others so that friends feel welcomed in our midst; some of us are great storytellers.


         And as artists we all seek an audience: someone to eat the bread; to dance through life with us; to wear the sweaters we knit; to enjoy the potato soup; to gaze upon the watercolor; to listen to the song that we can’t resist singing.


         You see what I mean. I think of myself as an artist whose way of connecting with others is through writing. I’m not saying that I’m a good writer or even that I have anything to say that others might want to spend time reading. What I am saying is that my deepest heartwish is to communicate and it’s through the telling of stories that I can do that.
         Thus, blogging has been a gift to me. I have been able to share stories with you and you have responded with interest and support. And in the past three years, I have indeed come home to myself—the name of this blog—in that I have embraced my whole life. Your comments have helped with that as your words have often put into perspective some aspect of my life with which I’ve struggled. Thank you now and ever for all the help you’ve given me. You have read my stories with nonjudgmental sensitivity.
         You’d think that being read with such understanding by all of you should be—I’ve never liked the word should by the way—enough for me. But it isn’t. I want to be published. I want my stories to be read beyond the Internet. For an artist, life is about connection. Our art—be it gardening or baking, writing or listening, photographing or painting—wants to connect with others. For me, this is evidence of the Oneness I find in all creation.


         And so I am devoting this year to three aspects of writing: 1) following your blogs; 2) finding an agent to represent my work; and 3) completing the convent memoir.
         All of you know the time that’s involved with following blogs. What you may not know is that the second goal requires a lot of research beyond the writing of query letters. (I’ve written about this before on my Sunday writing blog.) The third goal requires that I establish a daily routine of writing in order to complete a finished memoir by Thanksgiving—the deadline I’ve set for myself.
         To do that, I’m going to set aside two to three hours each day for writing new convent stories and weaving them together with the ones that have already appeared on this blog.
         While I’m doing that, I will continue posting, but I won’t be adding to the convent stories I began last August. Instead, I’ll return to my pre-convent and post-convent years and share with you additional stories about those times.


         I’ve been dealing with health problems recently that have stymied my efforts to follow blogs, seek agent representation, and write. With my somewhat obsessive behavior, I fell into the trap I have fallen into before. That is, I’ve let myself think it’s all or nothing. If I can’t do these three things each day, then I do nothing. And so nothing’s been getting done.
         But I’m taking a renewed lease on life.
·      I’m going to make every effort to visit each of your blogs once a week. Your words keep me grounded.
·      I’ll send out an agent query whenever I have twenty to thirty extra minutes to get that query ready.
·      And I’ll set realistic goals for myself each week so as to move forward in completing a first and then a final draft of the convent memoir.
I know that all of you wish me success with my three goals. All of us are artists; all of us have goals. Let us then support one another as we find and fashion our heartwishes. Peace.

All the photographs except that of Eliza are from Wikipedia.

45 comments:

  1. I wish you not only success but TRIUMPANT success. And while you are beating yourself up, can you keep a hand free to pat yourself on the back for your many, many achievements. Please.

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    1. Dear EC, thank you. And thank you also for saying that I've had many achievements. I lose track of that because as I'm aging and my life is narrowing down, it often seems to me as if there's nothing to look backward on with a sense of pride. Peace.

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  2. It sounds like a good plan, Dee, and however I can support you in meeting those publication goals, I'm here, ready and willing! I really love the idea of your convent memoir.

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    1. Dear Kathy, I'm remember your willingness to help me meet these publication goals. I hope the convent memoir will interest an agent and then an editor and a publisher and then readers! I'm wondering how the sells of your books are going and when will be the pub date for your book on cat helping with therapy. Peace.

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  3. Wow you have a ton done, awesome. And yeah visiting blogs takes time, I do about 500 a week easy haha

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    1. Dear Pat, I can't even begin to imagine how you visit 500 blogs a week. That's for sure an Olympic record! Peace.

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  4. I believe you will accomplish exactly what you are setting our to do, and then look for more. A schedule is good; it keeps all on track and moving forward.

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    1. Dear Joanne, thank you for having such faith in my work ethic and me. Today I didn't get anything except a visit to the doctor for a therapy session and shopping. When these Olympics are over, I'll get back to my regular sleeping schedule. I've let them keep me up at night and so I've been missing sleep and I took a long nap today and yesterday and the day before, etc. etc. etc!!!! Peace.

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  5. I understand what you are trying to accomplish, and may I suggest that one way to cut yourself some slack is to stop worrying about commenting on the blogs you read. I have done this myself: I can read them, but if I am agonizing about what to say, I simply release it and move on. It's helped me immeasurably. And I also send you Peace. And Love. :-)

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    1. Dear DJan, I think your suggestion is a good one because I do sometimes spend time thinking about what to say. But I'm so happy when I get a comment, that I want to always comment on other blogs as a form of encouragement. And yet I'm aware that I follow some bloggers who do not leave comments here on this blog. And I don't doubt that they read it.So I need to seek, once again, balance. For years and years my friends have tried to help me be more moderate. And balance has much to do with that. Peace.

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  6. You may say you're not necessarily a good writer or don't know you have something to say that people want to read, but I'll say it. Your writing is excellent. I always want to read it. I don't know if you need conflict in your memoir, but many of the stories you've already told us revolve around conflict -- conflict with and between students, conflict between some nuns (you mentioned a nun clique). Conflict between nuns could be quite enlightening and perhaps very amusing, if you want to put that spin on it. I know the nun clique was troublesome for you, but the thought of nun cliques seems hilarious to me (comic relief, perhaps?).

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Dear Janie, thanks so much for your compliments and words of encouragement. I still have so many convent stories to write and then I'll weave them together. My concern is that there'll be no comic relief and that the manuscript will be dreary. Peace.

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  7. Dee, This morning I went to my first meeting at the InterUrban ArtHouse. It's in Kansas, but many Missouri artists were there. I was amazed at the number of artists that go there to connect for various purposes. They have regular meetings, report art calls, whatever. ie, next Wednesday? they have an atty coming in to have a talk on copyright. There were several writers/authors and book illustrators there...ooh and poets. There were also several persons there that support art in various ways. Anyway...you might check out their web site if you get a chance. It explains their organization much better than I can. I really enjoyed myself and I'm really not a joiner/meeting goer to'r. I really don't do meetings if they're not short/organized/and have purpose. This seems pretty cool...

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    1. Dear Turquoisemoon, thank you for telling me about the InterUrbanArt House. I'll go on line and look to see when its next meeting is. Like you, I'm not a joiner/meeting person, but it would be good to talk with others who are writing and seeking representation. Perhaps I'll see you at the next meeting! That would be lovely. Peace.

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  8. You know I love everything you write. I am so looking forward to the convent memoir. I'm here, cheering you on! (And I look forward to talking with you next week!)

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    1. Dear Shelly, thanks for the cheers! Peace.

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  9. Very well said, Dee. I do think that if you feel so strongly about reaching this goal of publication, then it is really important that you keep going towards that goal! I know you will. My husband is very "all or nothing" with projects, so I've seen firsthand how much of a struggle that can be. I really do encourage you to do the most you can each day, and let it happen as it should. I'm going to look forward to your success. :-)

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    1. Dear Debra, I need to be reminded--often--to go with the flow and not to become rigid in scheduling. Because I've never been a moderate person I tend to try to do too much OR nothing at all. Up until Meniere's dropped by in 2006, I was a real workaholic; now I've relaxed because I've learned that I have little control except over the way I respond to things. To life. And going with the flow needs to be part of that. Thanks for reminding me. Peace.

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  10. Hey Dee, give yourself a break! You won't have time to sleep with this schedule. I'm sure your convent stories will find a publisher - I've enjoyed reading all of them.

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    1. Dear Annie, please see what I wrote in the response above--to "breathelighter." I'm going to try to meet each day with expectation and see at its end what I've accomplished. That's going with the flow and so I think I am now--with the help of those of you who have commented--going to give myself "a break"!!!Peace.

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  11. I am impressed with all the projects you have on the table. The Reluctant Spy and the 4 nuns story seem like really intriguing ideas. I have so enjoyed your personal stories here and know the publication you seek is in your future. Like Djan said, don't let others blogs consume you. Work on submitting those queries, The greats have trash cans full of rejections.

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    1. Dear Arkansas Patti, you know it is true that most of us who try to get published could paper the walls of our office with rejection letters. I'm trying to think of them not as "rejection" but as the agents' choice to simply give their attention elsewhere. What's really important in all this is that a person be aware that the "rejection" is not of them as a person. What is not been embraced by the agent is the writing. Many years ago, when I was in my thirties, I mixed up the two and so "I" felt rejected. But I let go of that unhealthy and untruthful belief long years ago. Peace.

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  12. You have a lot going on and I think it is a good idea to slow down and look at it all and decide how to best approach it. You have inspired me to look my creative side and see how I can best fit it into my life. I thought I would have all this time once I retired, but time just seems to fly away.

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    1. Dear Inger, yes, slowing down is necessary and I did that today. I had a doctor's therapy appointment, which always tires me and then I did errands: grocery shopping, the bank, the library, getting gasoline, buying my lottery tickets. By the time I got home I was exhausted and took a long nap. And I woke to the realization that I truly have to simply go with the flow of the day and do what I can. Having goals will help me I think, but I can't let them chain me. Peace.

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  13. I am SO proud of you... Writing is definitely your ART --and I'm sure, your passion. I love to write too--but don't have the 'gift of words' like you do... Having that as a goal will do wonders for you.

    Hope you can get a handle on your health problems and not let them 'win'.....

    I have slowed down a lot on blogging --and it's mainly because I don't have time to visit 100 blogs every day or so.... I love writing blogs and I love comments.. BUT--there are so many other things I am interested in and need to find time for in my life... It's all about a good balance.

    Hugs,
    Betsy

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    1. Dear Betsy, I visit only about 16 blogs a day and I can't imagine your trying to visit 100. WOW! Like you, there are so many other interests I have beyond the three I wrote about in this posting. But writing and being published are truly my deepest heartwishes--once we move from the great, overarching ones like world peace. Peace.

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  14. You are a wonderful writer and I always enjoy reading what you have to say. Your proposed schedule sounds wonderful, but I suggest you see if it's manageable before you commit yourself fully to it. Life has a way of interfering with the best laid plans, so it would be good to be philosophical about the plan. I can't wait to read "The Reluctant Spy" -- and the Bronze Age story is intriguing -- in fact all of them are! I am full of admiration for your ability to conjure up ideas for stories. I am not good at this kind of imaginative thinking and in in awe of your ability to come up with so many...

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    1. Dear Broad, already I am seeing that I need to be philosophical about all this because today simply happened with no regard to my arbitrary schedule. You know we all have different imaginations. I think that my childhood was in some ways a little hard--but perhaps all our childhoods are. I only know that I retreated into my imagination and came up with stories that comforted me. Peace.

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  15. Go for it! I have faith that you will find the absolute perfect agent who 'gets' you and your work and can help you find a path to publication. Take care.

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    1. Dear Kari, I am going to "go for it!!!" And when I get that agent I'll be announcing it loud and clear on this blog. You can bet on that! Peace.

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  16. There is so much to say, Dee, and I'm sure I will omit something, so, let me just say good for you and your planned endeavors. I'm excited for you in your goals and the upcoming prospect of your convent memoirs, and admire you your schedule. I have trouble with schedules, myself, spending more time figuring our how to get around them. sigh. I've learned, over time, to "go with the flow", unless, of course, there is a deadline looming.

    FYI - I've needed to temper myself on blog reading and comments. One nice thing about wordpress is that you can hit the like button, which I do often for many of my favorite bloggers, letting them know I've stopped and am reading. Besides, dear Dee, I, myself, don't mind as there are only so many minutes in a day.

    I need the Olympics to be over . . .

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    1. Dear Penny, I, too, have trouble with schedules. I do them and redo tham and then modify them some more. But never do I stick to them. Life always happens. This week has simply taught me that again. Sometimes I just don't want to write or blog or write agent queries--or walk or visit or cook or do anything. At those times I simply take the day or the afternoon off and relax. I let myself "be." And that's a lovely feeling. Like you, I need the Olympics to be over. The late ending (10:30) here is wrecking my sleeping regime. Peace.

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  17. You know I wish you the very best, Dee. It's hard to be easy on yourself if you think all or nothing, but I hope you can be flexible and not lose momentum. I would put writing first and blogging last on your list. I have finally been able to cut back on blogging. I can now read but don't always feel compelled to comment. Blogging can take up so much time that you don't have time for other things. Your writing is your priority. That is a good thing. Do that any way you desire--every day that you can. :):) I hope your health will be better, too. *hugs*

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    1. Dear Rita, I am trying toward flexibility. You've done that with your art and I so admire you for it. The truth is that I talk a good game about doing things but when I get into any individual day I truly do go with the flow. Days will pass and I'll do nothing but read and nap and take care of myself. So, as you say, I'm doing what I "desire." The thing is I need to not beat myself up about taking as much time off as the spirit moves me to do. Peace.

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  18. I'm not sure I can add much to the good advice you've already received, Dee. Like everyone else I admire so much what you've already achieved and your steadfast purpose to take your convent memoir to completion. Having a work schedule and a target date is a good idea, but don't let it become a straitjacket. If you overwork, everything you do will be less productive and the finished product probably not as good as it would be if you were well-rested. Be kind to yourself and I wish you every success.

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    1. Dear Perpetua, thank you for the good wishes and for the hope that I'll be realistic about all this. I am much more moderate since Meniere's came into my life than I used to be. Now I really do listen to my body and take days off to relax and recoup. Peace.

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  19. Wow - you have been busy! So much writing... Your goals sound like a good start to a more relaxed life... take care!

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    1. Dear Ladyfi, most of those partial manuscripts are from the last twenty years of starting things and never finishing them! Peace.

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  20. Best wishes Dee! I've been researching this and am learning that breaking into the publishing world can be very difficult and it seems to be getting harder all the time. But at the same time self-publishing and distributing through amazon (and elsewhere) has never been easier. I'm sure you've thought about that but if you have no luck with agents you might consider that too.

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    1. Dear Bill, yes, my research has shown how hard getting an agent is today and self-publishing is much easier, but sells can be few and so what one writes doesn't reach many people. A conundrum! Peace.

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  21. What a schedule! Dee you are an artist and write meaningful stories. I think your convent story will be published and will give joy to those reading it. Blogging is wonderful but can be so time consuming – it is all right if you don’t read blogs everyday or do not comment on each – I read many blogs where I don’t comment every time. Don’t be hard with yourself – you have accomplished so much already, let the inspiration flow into you and for that, sometimes, you just have to be there and think – and do nothing.

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    1. Dear Vagabonde, you are so right about inspiration flowing when I'm doing nothing. I make these routines/schedules and never stick to them because like yesterday I will have had a short night of sleep and have a Meniere's headache and not feel like doing anything but resting. So that's what I do. And today is taken up with appointments and so today's a wash also. What I need to do is simply to write, blog, query when I have the time and inclination! And that's what I've decided to do. Peace.

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  22. Something’s gotta give. Isn’t that how it goes?

    By all means keep in touch with blogging and bloggers, but only when time allows. it is the least imperative of your three aims. You wear yourself to a frazzle if you push on all three fronts, and that way disaster lies.

    I have learnt to relax about blogging, I do it when I feel like it but I don’t even bother to read every blog every week. Not all posts are of equal interest. Our time is limited, use it well.

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    1. Dear Friko, already I've been experiencing the "frazzle" you write about. I hope to post about that today. And I woke this morning with a dire feeling that my time is limited. Peace.

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  23. I wish you many blessings as you try to finish your book manuscript about the 4 former nuns! Take heart! It's not an impossible feat to publish a book. I was able to accomplish it last year. I was a nun myself between 1963-68 and I felt compelled to write a story inspired by my experiences as well as those of the women I met. Some are still my friends; most are former nuns. If you'd like to read it I'd be happy to send you a copy. I named it THE CHOSEN SHELL.
    I tried to send you a private email but had no luck. You can reach me at kbsartori@gmail.com or www.katherinesartori.com

    Blessings to you,
    Katherine Sartori

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