Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Decision Is Made


Dear Blogging Friends, Readers, Commentators, 
                   and You Who Fit All Three Categories,

Hello again.
            Today marks my blogging re-entry. In April, life became too complicated for me to write new postings. So I reposted eight stories from 2011. I didn’t respond to comments on these because I was pursuing a dream.
            Many of you thought I spent April working on a memoir. I didn’t. I began the month by getting ready for a trip to Minnesota. On April 6th, I journeyed forth from my Independence home and headed north. For eleven days, I cavorted with friends of thirty-eight years—friends I’d left behind when I moved to Missouri three years ago.


At the Good Earth Restaurant with a friend.

            In addition, I looked at a unit in a cooperative, three units in condos, a townhouse, and two refurbished houses. You see, this journey was a fact-finding one in which I sought answers to three questions: Could I financially afford to move back to Minnesota? Could I find a condo that would allow three cats? And . . .  Had I romanticized my years in Minnesota? The answers, in order, are yes, yes, and definitely no.
            A fourth question also presented itself: Did Meniere’s Disease still have a firm grip on my life? So much so that I wouldn’t have the psychic and physical energy to make a move?
            As I met with friends, almost all of them commented on my vitality. My vim and vigor. The answer was swift and sure: Meniere’s has relinquished its control. Healing has taken place here in Missouri. That is one of the great gifts of my being here. I have come home to health.
            Missouri has helped me come home in other ways. Part of that coming home is the acknowledgement that during those thirty-eight years I spent in Minnesota, the apricot sunsets, the multitudinous lakes, the acres of parks, the blustery winters, and the ever-changing political scenes rooted themselves within me. It is there I wish to spend my final years.
            And so this past Thursday, a realtor placed my Missouri home on the market. I so wish I could move it to Minnesota and settle it gently on a plot of ground in some wooded area. But I’ve never learned the art of levitation, and so must find a new home for the cats and myself. Financially I must consider only what I really need, not what I simply want.
            And what I need in a home is a bed in which to sleep, a kitchen in which to cook, an office in which to write my manuscripts and postings, and a space in which to place kitty litters for Ellie, Maggie, and Matthew.
            During the last full week of April, a cousin from Seattle visited me for six days. Within her I met a wholeness that touched my life while she was here. Perhaps she knows the art of levitation. I didn’t ask because I needed a more immediate gift from her: cleaning the walk-in shower to make it presentable to a buyer.
            She applied her considerable skills to this task. That bathroom is now pristine. So much so that I hesitate to take any more showers. It’s the other bathroom for me—the one with the tub. I know how to keep a tub clean as I did that in Minnesota. But perhaps you can suggest a product that will enable me to use the walk-in shower while keeping it looking factory new. If so, HELP!
            So that’s the month of April. If you have any unassigned prayers, vibes, visualizations, good wishes, thoughts, energy, please send them my way. In this lifelong questioning of “Where and what is home?” I’ve lived in expectation of goodness. It just keeps rolling in, inundating me with the mystery of what being human means.
             Peace ever and always to you.

65 comments:

  1. Dee, I am so happy for you and that your visit to Minnesota yielded such solid answers for you. Will you return to Stillwater? It's such a pretty and interesting town. Wherever you land, I trust it will be perfect in every way for you and your kitties.

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    1. Dear Teresa, thank you for your trust that all will be well with my move to Minnesota. You know one of the things I'm hoping for in this move is that I'll get to meet you somewhere half-way between where you live and where I'll settle (probably not in Stillwater) and we can become "beyond blogging" friends. That would be such a gift.

      I follow http://perpetually-in-transit.blogspot.com and on it Perpetua, who lives in Great Britain, has recently visited two bloggers she follows. She's posted about that and their meetings seem so filled with joy and chatting, sharing, and delighting in one another.

      Take care. And peace.

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  2. Good for you! There's much to be said for searching and actually finding a contented answer. I will be praying that all the rest falls into place.

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    1. Dear Shelly, . . . I loved your phrase "contented answer." That's truly what I'm feeling--contented. Thank you for your prayers. I do know that all shall be well, but I find myself saying to Oneness--"I trust; help my doubt."

      Peace.

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  3. I'm so thrilled for you! And imagine, you will be as close to Sweden as one can get in this country. I was too busy with the Challenge to read your older posts, but I noticed their headings and was curious, so I will go back and read some. I'll email you the ones of mine I think you may enjoy. You look so great. I had never seen a picture of the today you before.

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    1. Dear Inger, . . . so good to read this comment from you. And yes, I'll be closer to Sweden! I think your postings for the A to Z month where to be about Sweden. Sometime today and tomorrow, I'll get to everyone's blog and discover just what you've all been writing about. What a treat.

      I like your phrase "the today you." Well, the today you is wishing you much joy.

      Peace.

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  4. Oh, Dee, that's fantastic! I'm so very pleased that you'v been able to come to a decision which feels so right to you. Going by that gorgeous photo you certainly look as though you have enough vim and vigour for a house move. :-)

    White vinegar is an excellent cleaner for showers. :-) Lots of prayers and very best wishes that someone will see your Missouri home as theirs very soon.

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    1. Dear Perpetua, . . . if you have time, please read my response to the comment by Teresa Evangeline.

      Thanks for the white vinegar suggestion. Per the suggestion of my cousin, I bought a scrub brush for the yellow stain on the shower wall (the one thing that shows it's been used). So I'll use that brush and vinegar and scrub, scrub, scrub that stain away. (Hopefully!)

      Thank you for the prayers and best wishes. This is a lovely home and I so hope that someone sees it and falls in love. I hope to be settled in Minnesota by December, so we'll see what the future holds.

      Peace.

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  5. That old saying, "Home is where the heart is" is true. You knew where your heart was and you are going home. I am sure you have been thinking of this for quite a while and I am so glad that you realized that your dream can come true.

    You look so happy in that picture and I can see the joy in your face. Minnesota is where you belong. I wish you the best of luck, dear friend, in finding a buyer for your house and a quick move back to the lovely state from where your memories lay.

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    1. Dear Arleen, . . . your comment is so full of understanding of the why and wherefore of my longing to be back in Minnesota. Thank you for your best wishes in finding a buyer. My hope is to back home and settled by Christmas--with a Christmas tree standing in the living room in my new abode and the cats using their gimlet eyes to discover which ornament to bat off next!

      Peace.

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  6. I am so pleased that you found what you needed. I have had a feeling for some time now that you would end up back in Minnesota and I'm so thrilled that you're "going home." Embracing abundance brings more. I suspect you will find exactly what you need and it will all work out just perfectly.

    Love and light.

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    1. Dear Kari, . . . I do agree with you that "embracing abundance brings more." And I do so hope that you are right about my finding exactly what I need. What I need to do right now, I believe, is to let go and let Abundance teach me to fly.

      Peace.

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  7. I'm so happy for you, Dee! There has been such a longing, so evident in some of your posts, to return to Minnesota, but fearing it wouldn't be possible financially. I'm so glad you gave yourself the gift of time in April to go back and find out for sure -- and that you've made a decision. There's such peace and contentment in making the decision. I have the feeling that, from this point, things will fall into place for you to make that transition back. Good for you!!!

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    1. Dear Kathy, . . . thank you for sharing your feeling about my move--that is, that things will fall into place during this transition. One of the wonders and gifts of growing older is that we have more years to look back on and learn from. And what I discover when I look back is that all has worked out unto good. Sometimes I've needed a week or a month or a year or several years to discover that good, but always it is there, like a diamond in the dark earth, waiting for my entranced heart to embrace it.

      Peace.

      Peace.

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  8. Welcome back to blogging. I'm so glad you made this fact finding journey. I'm going through a similar journey. More to come about that on my blog soon. I know exactly how you are feeling. I hope it all comes together quickly. You look great.

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    1. Dear Sally, . . . I so look forward to reading about your journey on your blog. These decisions we make as we age can be frightening. Taking a risk is never truly easy. And yet our heart longs for something and we must follow our intuitions. I hope to get to your blog today or tomorrow to discover what you are doing with and in your life.

      Peace as you journey forward.

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  9. I am sending you my hopes & prayers--I wish I could also send you a buyer!!

    I love that photo of you. It's exactly as I'd pictured you--but with an even bigger smile!

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    1. Dear Fishducky, . . . thank you for your hopes and your prayers. And yes, a buyer would be nice!!!! Perhaps you have the power to levitate one right out of her/his car and into my house!

      Ah, Fishducky, life is replete with possibilities.

      Peace.

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  10. well, I can send you good thoughts, best wishes and THE most positive energy there is! I got loads of it :)

    -B-

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    1. Dear Baiba, . . . Thank you for the good thoughts, best wishes, and positive energy! Please keep sending them.

      I so look forward to visiting your blog today or tomorrow and discovering what's been happening as you near the end of your final year of high school.

      Peace.

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  11. So that's what you've been up to.
    It looks as if you have been able to make decisions that suit you. I hope all continues to go well and you find your safe haven, back with your friends.

    The very best of luck.

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    1. Dear Friko, . . . yes, that's what I've been up to. And I hope that you have been up to writing your memoir. Thank you for your best wishes. I seem to remember that sometime in March you posted about the need for you and your husband to makes some decisions about moving. Is that right? If so, perhaps when I visit your blog today or tomorrow, I'll find what's been happening along those lines with you.

      Peace.

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  12. I'm only a hop and a skip across the Red River from Minnesota, but Minnesota will always be home to me, too. I have always loved the variety (no surprise) of the prairie grasslands, deciduous woodlands, and the boreal forests. The defined change of seasons--the lakes and marshes--the rich dark earth--the sand dunes. I am so glad you are coming home, Dee!! Positive thoughts that everything will fall into place and you will find that special spot for you and the furbabies that will keep that huge grin on your face!! ;) Glad you're back!

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    1. Dear Rita, . . . You describe Minnesota so beautifully. It's clear that you appreciated it when you lived there and now as well.

      And thanks for the positive thoughts. I need them. My mantra right now is "I trust; please help my doubt."

      And yes..... I'd so love to cross the Red River and visit you in Fargo and meet Karma.

      Peace.

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  13. I am so happy for you Dee, may all go well in the future,

    Yvonne.

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    1. Dear Yvonne, . . . thank you so much for being such a faithful commentor while I was away in April. I appreciate your wisdom.

      Peace.

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  14. This is such a wonderful post. I hope that everything will go perfectly with selling your home. ;)

    You are absolutely gorgeous!

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    1. Dear Elisa, . . . thank you for wishing me well in this move. "And all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be exceedingly well" as Julian of Norwich said many centuries ago.

      Peace.

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  15. Dee, I'm so excited for you! I know this is what you really want. However you better not lose touch with me. I would be devastated!
    Vinegar helps with water spots also CLR is a great product to get all the grit off walls. You just spray it on wait a minute then take a brush to it or scrubby, then rinse. Super easy. Windex will also get rid of soap scum. If there is mold you take cotton balls dip them in bleach then place on mold spot. Wait 5 min come back remove the cotton balls and the mold is gone. I used to clean base housing. Don't ask. It was a nightmare.

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  16. Dear Melynda, . . . I won't lose touch! And thanks for the suggestions about keeping the shower clean. The stain is yellow, so I think I'll go to K-Mart
    and get that CLR you suggest.

    Now about that cleaning of base housing. That sounds to me like a posting or many several! I'd love to hear the story.

    Peace.

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  17. I'm going to take Melynda's advice about the bleach on the cotton balls! I live in Florida so we have a constant mold and mildew problem. We just replaced our old fiberglass shower and I'm hoping I keep it clean and like new, but no promises! :)

    Glad you are finding your way to the place you want to live out your life.

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    1. Dear Nancy, . . . so glad that you found in Melynda's comment a suggestion that helps you. She has certainly given me a product to use. Isn't blogging wonderful? It puts us in touch with others who share common concerns. Life is truly a gift.

      Peace.

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  18. This is wonderful news. I am hoping that it all goes as you deserve. We moved here from Colorado in April so that we would have the summer to get used to the area. Moving in winter requires a dedication and belief that the lazy days of summer will indeed return. I love your picture. You look a lot like me; we could be sisters! And you do also look very happy. I am sending you May Day wishes for all the best for you and yours! :-)

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    1. Dear DJan, . . . I'd love to have you for a sister! Someone who could encourage me to walk and to sky dive and to join the Y and to use an IPad and to use a camera. Oh so many things you could teach me. And so many things we could talk about and share.

      I have a stress fracture in the second metatarsal bone of my left foot. I injured it in January and have been told by the podiatrist not to walk except around the house. So it's going to be awhile before I can follow your lead and get out there and walk!

      I don't know how long a time will be needed for this house to sell. But I'm on no timeline so I trust that all shall work out in the way that is best for me.

      Thank you for your May Day wishes. They mean so much to me.

      Peace.

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  19. Like everyone else I am full of happiness that you have found somewhere that you will find contentment and joy to live in. Sending hugs across the miles.
    (And of course you need a cat friendly area. It was one of our first considerations when we moved last.)

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    1. Dear EC, . . . yes, cat friendly is essential! Thank you for the hugs, I feel such joy in receiving so many comments today from friends far and wide in our great blogging world. Peace to you.

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  20. Dear Dee,

    What good news, first that you are back in the blog world, but also that you have made your decision to move back to Minnesota. It has been obvious to me that your heart is there. I am thrilled for you and will be sending bounteous wishes for a quick and successful sale, and a smooth move!

    I'm glad you have an appointment to get the computer sorted out. It's truly frustrating when you can't get email!

    Peace to you, Dee, and big welcome back hugs!

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    1. Dear Sandi, . . . Thank you for the "bounteous wishes" you are sending me for a quick and successful sale and a smooth move. I"m trusting that all will work out for the good of everyone involved--cats included.

      Yes, I do need to get the computer sorted--something about passwords and keychains and inlog. A foreign language for me.

      Peace.

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  21. Welcome home. I like your photo. You are even more beautiful than I imagined.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Dear Janie, . . . I've never felt beautiful and so your compliment made me blush! There's a first time for everything I guess. Thank you.

      Peace.

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    2. You ARE beautiful! Never let anyone--including yourself--tell you anything different!!!!!!!!!!!

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    3. Thanks, Fishducky. You know when teenagers have a bad case of acne--which I did--I suspect that for the rest of their lives they think of themselves as rather plain. Especially because no one has ever really commented on my looks, except for my eyes, which are Irish blue.

      Peace.

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  22. Isn't it wonderful when the mind is made up and all that is needed is a dose of patience and a house buyer.
    Since your shower is now spanky clean, my sister-in-law swears by using those synthetic car chamois to keep it clean. She just wipes the shower down each time and it stays clean.
    Welcome back. I really enjoyed the reruns.

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    1. Dear Arkansas Patti, . . . Yes, I need that does of patience and a house buyer who has the imagination to see that the beauty of this home.

      I'm stopping at K-Mart tomorrow to get the CLR that Melynda recommended in her comment. I'll also get the "synthetic car chamois" that you've recommended. I do want to take showers so I need something to help me keep that stall looking pristine! Thank you for helping me out here.

      Peace.

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  23. You look wonderful, Dee. There are times in ones life when it really is important and healing to revisit where you came from -- at least that has been the case in mine. How fortunate we are to have had families that could give us that option. I am so happy that your trip to Minnesota has given you the answer you had been hoping for. The time seems right for you and I look forward to meeting up with you one of these days in Minneapolis!

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    1. Dear Broad, . . . oh, wouldn't meeting and visiting with you in Minneapolis, when you're in Minnesota to visit with your sister, be a treat! I so look forward to that. I know you've recently visited with Perpetua and the two of you had a great time. How wonderful.

      Peace.

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  24. Wonderful, Dee! Good for you. Yes, I was curious about what you had going on, and this wasn't in my list of possibilities, but it's exciting. I will remember you in my prayers, as you have made a strong impression on me and I think of you often, even in between your posts! I think it's exciting that you can say what you need beyond your wants. And I'm guessing you'll land somewhere in between, but in Minnesota! It sounds to me that you're really being directed to where your heart is. There's nothing more exciting! Be sure to take us along, okay? Debra

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    1. Dear Debra, . . . this is exciting. Keeping the house clean--as I wait for phone calls saying that a viewer wants to see the house--is going to be tricky because I'm surely not a housekeeper. But needs must! Three commentors--Melynda, Arkansas Patti, and Perpetua--have made suggestions about the shower so that's going to help me. And the vacuum cleaner and I will need to have a new relationship--it's called using it!

      Peace.

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  25. Dear one, you brought tears to my ole eyes. I am overjoyed for you, Dee. You followed your dreams and heart and found answers to your prayers.
    I am confident that you will be happy and content to be home again.

    Hugs and smiles across the miles,
    Pam (:

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    1. Dear Pam, . . . thank you for rejoicing with me. I am so blessed to have friends in Minnesota who are looking forward to my return and to have blogging friends, like you, who support me in my dreams.

      Peace.

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  26. Oh my goodness, Dee, how this resonates with me (as you might have guessed). This idea of home is so strong - it calls to me constantly. That is why this journey - so unrooted - has scared me so. But I believe it is actually a journey in which I am being set free - figuratively and literally, from the desert, to find my way "home." I have an image of it - a place by the sea, green and lush. And like you, it is simple. Not everyone understands the need to be in a PLACE that feeds your soul, but I do. I am so happy for you, and look forward to hearing about your transition. Your heart has spoken and you are listening. All along our journey, I will be listening too. I am so glad to have found you, and look forward to being inspired by what you do. Much love and many hugs, Melissa

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    1. Dear Melissa, . . . yes, I knew you were on the same page as I. I'm so glad that your RV trip is setting you free. The feeling is one of being scared--yes. But also there is a euphoria that is quite intoxicating. And you are right, Minnesota feeds my soul.

      I will keep all of you apprised of what happens. The house has been on the market now for a week and no viewers. So that says that either the listed price is too high or that no one right now wants a house on a slab. This area of Missouri is known as tornado alley. And so people want basements. Well, I need to trust that the Universe will provide.

      Peace.

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  27. congratulations on quite an eventful month. it's good to see you back. sounds like a journey only to be made with such friends. coming home is what we seem to want to do, and yearn to do. you received what you needed in missouri. you are so in tune. yes, needs beyond your wants. abundance is the way. returning, and to a place that probably isn't exactly what it was. and probably neither are you:) i am a big fan of your journey.

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    1. Dear Ed, . . . you are right. In the three years I've been here in Missouri, I've changed and all my friends in MInnesota and even the state itself have changed. And so I must be open to what presents itself. But I can feel my heart leap up--as Wordsworth said--when I am in Minnesota and see its lakes and forests.

      Thank you for being a fan of my journey. I hope you know that I'm a great fan of your poetic writing.

      Peace.

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  28. Wonderful Dee! I hope your moving process is as stress free as possible, and that you'll be very happy in your new home. Love your photo.

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    1. Dear Michelle, . . . this moving business is replete with stress and so I appreciate your hope that it will be as free of stress as possible. Having moved three years ago, I de-cluttered a lot and now I'm in the midst or paring down even more. I want to travel lightly.

      I"m glad you like the photo. You see a happy me!

      Peace.

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  29. Dee, Good photo of you. 3 cats, huh? I wish I had 3 cats. I need barn cats as I too, have decided to move back to the ranch. Minnesota is a great choice to move back to.... I remember the black rich soil that I suppose is all chemically treated by now. Do you have your own gardens? June 1..... my renter will be gone and I can move in, although I'm preparing and working there every day. So much to do. Good luck with your move. Love Manzanita.

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    1. Dear Manzanita, . . . are you thinking of add cats to your family? Of course, I'm a great cat family and recommend them as companions. They are endlessly amusing and they've taught me so much.

      I hope you post about the ranch and moving back into it. I'd find that so interesting.

      Peace.

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  30. Hello friend, It seems God is replanting you back in your favored garden..
    How to keep the shower clean...is easy! Keep a soft cloth/rag in there and every-time you finish using it, wipe it dry straight away. Love Crystal

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    1. Dear Crystal, . . . thank you for the suggestion about the shower. I had a showing today and took my shower afterward! Wanted to keep the shower looking good. So now I have a good cloth, recommended by a good friend and my sister-in-law and I'm going to do as you suggest. Peace.

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  31. Dear Crystal, . . . thanks for the shower advice. I think I'm going to buy the chamois that Arkansas Patti suggested. That's the "soft cloth" I'll use. I've taken a shower now and know that I need to buy that cloth right away! Peace.

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  32. What fabulous news, Dee. I am so happy for you that you were able to come to where you need to be, home of course, during your sojourn. Best of luck with the house sale and home hunting in MN. " . . . unassigned prayers, vibes, visualizations, good wishes, thoughts, energy . . . " are all heading your way.

    I know the Good Earth Restaurant in Roseville. We eat quite a few meals when our Katy was in college near there. Once you are settled and it is summer, you must visit Common Grounds in St. Paul. Wonderful, reasonable food in an old building with a common plot of city land next to it where much of the produce is raised. I blogged about it sometime ago and will share it with you when you are ready.

    Good to have you back, Dee.

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    1. Dear Penny, . . . so good to hear from you. And thank you for all the supportive energy you're sending my way. That means so much to me.

      So you know the Good Earth. As a vegetarian, I began to frequent it right after it opened--can't remember the year. It was my favorite eating place because it was halfway between Stillwater and where many of my friends lived. And you, I will visit Common Grounds and get in touch with you to learn more. I've not heard of it before. Peace. . . . and I hope you are getting back your "bounce."

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  33. Ah, a new adventure in old haunts. May your years there be magical.

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