Sunday, August 11, 2019

The Biography of a Novel: Part 2


Last week, I began a series of postings on the biography of my historical novel, The Reluctant Spy. In Part 1 of that series, I described the genesis of the book. (In her comment last week, Joanne used that word, and I so like it! Thank you.)

Briefly, while I walked in the Stillwater cemetery back in 1997, two biblical characters began speaking through me. I realized they were responding to a question: “Who is he for you?” Knowing they were both from the faith document called the Gospel of Luke, I began to reread that Christian testament.

Now let’s began Part 2 of the series: the development of the first version of the novel.

Entitled Who Is He for You? the first version was a series of monologues spoken by the characters who peopled the four gospels of the Christian Testament. I spent several weeks—one hour each morning because I was still working full time—reading the gospels and thinking about how each character I met in them might respond to the question, “Who is Jesus for you?”

After rereading, I made a list of twenty-seven characters who might have a response to the question: Who is he for you? For each, I wrote a monologue. After completing these testaments of faith or disbelief, I asked several friends to read the manuscript. I wasn’t sure what I had—what I would call the monologues. They clearly weren’t a novel. But what were they?

Friends described them as “spiritual reflections” or a “devotional” book. One reader called it my “love letter to Jesus.”

I had no desire to write spiritual reflections or daily devotions. Why? Because at that time, I was going through my third crisis of faith. I’d gone through one when I was seventeen and another when I walked away from Catholicism in the 1970s. In 1997, I was struggling with whether I could believe in a Supreme Being. The struggle was a virulent one.

Often during my daily walks in the cemetery, I found myself arguing with the God in whom I’d believed for some sixty-two years. In the silence amidst the gravestones, I’d shout my frustration. My fear. My disdain. My sorrow. My loneliness. My disbelief.
 
For me, those days were like the struggle of Jacob with the angels in the Book of Genesis of the Hebrew Bible. After their struggle, Jacob was left with a limp and a blessing.

For me, perhaps, the limp has been my inability to believe in my writing. The blessing, perhaps, is the novel that will soon be published. There is no doubt that in working on it, off and on for twenty-two years, I’ve developed a spirituality that enriches my life.

Now back to 1999: In two years, I had produced hundreds of words spoken by characters in the Christian Bible. I didn’t feel or think that I was a Christian any longer. I still deeply believed that a man names Jesus had lived and roamed the hills and valleys of Palestine back in the first century of the Common Era. 

I still knew that he was my dearest friend. That he had influenced my life as no other person, not even my mother, had. That his words about justice and compassion, inclusion and forgiveness had become a philosophy that guided my life.

But how could I write about him when my belief in his divinity was also being affected by my crisis of faith?

What was I to do with those twenty-seven interviews? And that, my friends, is what I’ll write about next week in Part 3 of this series.

Peace.

Painting by Delacroix from Wikipedia.

20 comments:

  1. this is fascinating Dee. I am really, really looking forward to reading this book. Knowing that its journey towards publication reflects some of your own journey through life adds depth.

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    1. Dear Sue, I do so hope that the book meets your expectations. It truly does reflect--in sometimes muted and something very vivid ways--the faith journey I've taken. Peace.

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  2. Really interesting, Dee. I've never been a Christian but oddly enough I can relate to much of what your wrote about having a crisis of faith only the debate in my head was the opposite of yours...could I give up my agnostic beliefs to become a believer? Like you I've always believed in the historical Jesus but I've never believed in the mysticism of Jesus Christ as a savior.

    I am totally intrigued by your writing process and look forward to more in this series.

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    1. Dear Jean, as with what Sue said in her comment above, I can only say that I hope this book meets your expectations. It's setting in first-century Palestine. Nearly all its characters are Jews. And I have tried to research and to be as faithful to first-century Judaism as I could be. I hope that Christians will not be disappointed with the book. And I have no idea how agnostics or atheists will think or feel. I do so hope that when the book is published, the readers will leave comments on Amazon. I think I'll learn a lot from that. Peace.

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  3. You sure know how to leave us hanging, Dee!

    "Briefly, while I walked in the Stillwater cemetery back in 1997, two biblical characters began speaking through me. I realized they were responding to a question: “Who is he for you?”

    What did they say?

    As I was reading this post and I got to the part about your friend Jesus a thought came to me. How about writing a love letter from Him to you?

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    1. Dear Sandi, what they said was part of the first version of what ultimately became a novel. Many things changed.

      As to the letter from Yeshua to me--that really is in the final version. It's the way Yeshua responds to the main character: Jonathan. Peace.

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  4. You know, dear friend, you might try your hand at mysteries, next.

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    1. Dear Joanne, why do you say that? Is it because I keep leaving the posting with a cliffhanger!!!!! Peace.

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  5. Believing in ourselves as writers is probably the most difficult part of putting our thoughts on paper (or on the computer), to me at least. I am looking forward to finding out how you found your way through.

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    1. Dear DJan, I hope this series doesn't get to long. It really took me quite a while to find my voice with this novel. Peace.

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  6. I think that most of us have questions about our beliefs. For those who don’t, I wonder about their honesty with themselves. Life is short, but a long journey.

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    1. Dear Arleen, examining our beliefs can be risky and I suspect that many do not want to take that risk because a risk is scary. We don't know beforehand where it will land us. And yes, right now I am feeling that life is very short. the journey has been long and I find myself reflecting on it: first in the convent memoir, now in their series of postings, and after the novel is published, on another memoir. Peace.

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  7. I might have been a bit spooked at being talked to like you were but you have really made it an inspiration. Looking forward to more.

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    1. Dear Patti, it did inspire me to write but it took several years before I realized what it was I really wanted to write. Peace.

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  8. Dee, I would find it hard to believe that most people have not questioned their beliefs sometime in their lives. Truth be told, I think everyone must find their own path... and that it's a totally personal journey. Mere Christianity by CS Lewis helped me understand this. I'm enjoying reading your posts of how The Reluctant Spy came into being. Waiting for Part 3...

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    1. Dear Rian, I'm glad you are enjoying the series. I think most of us do examine what we believe at some point. Perhaps when a belief becomes challenging. For myself, I've never been moderate so things are always a little out of proportion for me! Peace.

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  9. I think it’s called research in a ‘normal’ novel. It’s wonderful that you are so deeply engrossed in your work. Will this book become a story of the struggle with belief in Christian teachings?

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  10. Dear Friko, in a sense it does represent my struggle with Christian teaching in that the main character's crisis of faith--as a Jew--is loosely based on my own--as a Christian and we both go through a "dark night of the soul." Peace.

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  11. dear Dee your book has powerful and compelling topic

    i found this topic always fascinating and worth writing about ,i had thoughts that someday i will try to share my heart about my struggle with religion in my teens
    though now i only believe in my Creator that's it

    through your mighty words and inspiring views i can expect that your book will be great hit by the grace of Lord because you are going to talk about something we all experience once in a life at least
    thank you for this precious blog my friend!

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    1. Dear Baili, like you, I believe that almost all of us go through some crisis of faith in our life. A time of searching for meaning in the light of our experiences. I look forward to the time when you may share your struggle on your blog. Peace.

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