Sunday, May 21, 2017

A Hope for Now






For the past four weeks, I’ve published postings about where I am emotionally with regard to my life and my writing. Today’s posting sums that up and adds my conclusions.

After Crown published A Cat’s Life: Dulcy’s Story in 1992, I began to dream big dreams about my success as a writer. In the next two decades, however, as I tried to interest agents in representing my writing, I received only rejection e-mails. Slowly reality dawned.

I realized that the Universe was trying to teach me to let go of the outcomes I’d envisioned. Slowly I learned that I could control the way I responded to events, but I couldn’t control my unrealistic expectations.

Joseph Campbell, who studied, wrote, and lectured his entire life about the power of myth, once said, “Follow your bliss.” I have treasured that quotation. Often I’ve suggested it to others, but never have I truly lived it.

I didn’t follow my bliss—which is simply writing. Instead, I let my dream of being published and becoming successful become an all-consuming obsession. I embraced the outcomes, not the writing. Not the nutritious home-baked bread, but the slathered butter. Not the cake, but the frosting.

Recently a blogging friend sent me a card with the following Campbell quotation on it:

       We must be willing
        to let go of the life
       we had planned.
       So as to have the life
       that is waiting for us.

Her sending that card helped me find perspective and pretty well summed up what many of you have written in your comments for my postings.

And so I begin.

For many decades of my life, I changed, took risks, welcomed differences. If I could do that when I was younger, there’s no reason I can’t do it now. In order to do that, however, I must listen again to that inner voice of intuition I’ve ignored for so long. I must open my heart to that voice.

I’m ready to quit living in the future of my dream world. I’m ready to live in the present and await whatever beckons me. Writing for publication? Perhaps. Finding a new passion? Maybe. Finding books to read on subjects I don’t normally read? Possibly. Working to make daily exercise habitual? Hope so. Making new friends? How wonderful. I know one thing only: I’m letting go of my attachment to the outcomes of my own planning. I’m ready to simply be.

What will this surrender to life look like?  I hope writing will be a part of it, but I suspect that there are surprises ahead for me. That’s something to which I look forward. And yet, I must admit to some trepidation.

Perhaps, those two poles—expectation and trepidation—as well as the span between them are what I’ll be blogging about. Who knows? I surely don’t.

Peace.



34 comments:

  1. Just be; & be happy & at peace!!

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  2. Dear Fishducky, thank you. I'm letting myself slip into simply being who I am this day. It's quite freeing. Peace.

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  3. I suspect that, like most of us, you are a work in progress. Which can be wonderful, and can be terrifying.
    I hope that peace and gentleness envelop all of your days.

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    1. Dear Sue, yes, a work in progress. Thank you for the lovely wish. Peace and gentleness call me. I hope that they envelop your life also. Peace.

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  4. Today I realized how my plans for blogging had changed. 20 years ago, I was writing towards a goal to get published. Now I write for the simple joy of writing.
    Amen.

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    1. Dear Susan, we're on the same page, Susan. I am so enjoying the various topics you explore on your blog--from Cromwell to blinking! wonderfully informative and thought-provoking and entertaining. Peace.

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  5. Happy to see you out and about on Blogger again Dee! I love that quote about the life we'd planned and the life that is waiting for us....Joseph Campbell's been on my "to read" list for ages. Time to get busy! This may be the push I needed. I look forward to reading your future posts.

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    1. Dear Molly, I visited your blog and I'll say to you what you said to me--that I look forward to reading your future posts. Peace.

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  6. I have that quote in my inspiration book. Good to be reminded
    I hope you enjoy both peace and excitement in your next phase of endeavors.

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    1. Dear Cynthia, thank you for your hopes for me. Like you, I find Campbell's quotation inspirational. Peace.

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  7. Dreams are good to have as it powers us forward, but sometimes the here and now is missed. I wish you many momentous here and nows, Dee.

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    1. Dear Arleen, thank you for your gentle reminder to stay in the present moment. To live in the present. When I don't do that, I miss what's happening, which means that often I miss the beauty of the day and its message to me. I really am trying to live in the "momentous here and nows." Peace.

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  8. I think you are on the path, Dee, and wherever it takes you I hope it brings you to the place you are looking for. I still have your book and know that blogging will be bringing you into my life, and that makes me happy. :-)

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    1. Dear DJan, I'm glad that my blog touches your life in some way--making you happy! I'm really absolutely unsure of what I'll be writing about in the weeks and months ahead, but I'm going to do as you do and sit here and wait for words to come. I know you do that each Sunday morning. Peace.

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  9. Ever since I discovered your blog, I have loved reading about your life and found you to be an exceptional writer because of your ability to be honest and also to have an exceptional ability to express humility and gentleness with humour. You write for the sake of it and very beautifully indeed. It is so good to see you blogging again -- though I have been out of the loop myself for a couple of months...

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    1. Dear Broad, thank you for your kind words about my writing. I'm glad to be blogging again although I have no idea what I'm be saying in my posts. Whether I'll recount stories from my past or simply live in the present. We'll see. I look forward to you getting back in the "loop" of blogging. Peace.

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  10. Hurray! I think writing for the love of it will make your writing even MORE of a pleasure to read. Focusing on the immediate expression of what you want to say, and not worrying about what some future reader or editor will think, will open up so much to you and actually make it easier for you to write. Take the inner pressure off, you know? I am excited for you. Doesn't matter to me whether you write about what you did that day or the past--whatever--we'll be here to listen. :)

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    1. Dear Rita, I'm eager to see what comes to me each Sunday. It may surprise both you and me! Your excitement excites me! Peace.

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  11. Hi Dee, Maybe your writing should NOW be on the topics of Surrendering to Life.... I'm sure that there are many people out there wondering what has happened to the 'hopes and dreams'... They seem to be hung up trying to make those hopes and dreams WORK for them ---and while doing that, they are missing NEW hopes and dreams for them.... Seems as if a book dealing with these issues would be great.... You do have a story to tell... Hope it works for you.

    Hugs,
    Betsy

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    1. Dear Betsy, that is a good topic. I hope I can be observant enough to see the glimmers that come. Peace.

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  12. A few weeks ago, I visited fishducky and her husband Bud. While there I shared my concerns about money as I'm selling my house in Los Angeles and a few other concerns about expenses. Bud gave me some advice, so beautiful in its simplicity. He said, "Inger, just do the best you can." Now that I get so tired when I do too much and so frustrated I can't do more, his words ring in my ears and I relax. Peace, dear Deel

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    1. Dear Inger, I will treasure the advice Bud gave to you for I, too, need to follow it. I am trying to do the best I can as I deal with two other health concerns that are problematic and are causing me much stress. I'm trying truly to let go and to trust in the Oneness of All Creation. May both of us be content with the best we can do. Peace.

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  13. Love that Campbell quote. I do believe you are on the right track. Some of us write for the fame or fortune it may bring, others write because they must. I do believe the happiest are the latter. I think you are the latter, you just have to let her out which it sounds like you are doing.
    I enjoy your words and hope you continue to share with us. Who knows where it will lead.

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    1. Dear Patti, I have always thought I wrote because the day wasn't complete without crafting words on paper or on the computer. The truth is that ill health for several years has sapped my energy and I haven't written much at all. I'm hoping that blogging will bring forth from me the writing that I do so long to do. And as you say, "Who knows where it will lead?" Peace.

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  14. Great post! So glad to see you blogging again. I'm with you on change. The more I can let go of the past and future, the happier I am. Take good care and thanks so much for visiting.

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    1. Dear Carol, yes, like you I want to live in the present moment. It's taking me a lifetime to learn how to do that! But I'm getting better.

      I always enjoy visiting your blog! Always. Peace.

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  15. I read Campbell's work on Myth. He was amazing. I don't fret about getting published. For me, getting published was always in the back of my mind. I think I felt it would be a kind of validation.
    I've come to understand, that I enjoy writing daily because it helps me to improve. That fact is what motivates me these days.
    R

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    1. Dear Rick, I'm coming close to embracing your realization also. I enjoy writing, crafting a good sentence. A sentence that communicates. And writing helps me sort my thoughts. So like you, this is becoming my motivation instead of the desire to be published. Peace.

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  16. Dee, how ironic that you had posted this on May 21st....before I put up the pictures of Sidney. I can see the similarities. As for you, dear woman, "being" is good and you are ready for it!

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  17. Dear Lori, yes, that carpet does it for similarities, just as the black blothes on white fur do! Peace.

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  18. Thank you Dee for coming to my blog so I would know you came back to the blog world. I have been trying to write at least one post a month but have not been able to visit blogs very much. I did read all the posts you wrote since your return – all very good and very sincere, as always. It is good that you are stopping all this planning ahead – as it stops one from enjoying the present moment. I, also, used to plan many things, mostly trips, but now I learn to live for the day. With Alzheimer, Jim can have a good day, a bad one or a terrible one, and projects get changed. I hope that you are totally recovered from back surgery – I have heard how painful back problems are. From your writings I think you have the right attitude and should see more things fall into place for you this summer. I am always impressed with your modesty and kindness. Your posts are a delight to read.

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    1. Dear Vagabonde, this Sunday I hope to post about my "new" normal, which is what is happening with you too. With your husband's Alzheimer, you are finding a new normal for your life. Let us think of one another and send the power of Oneness so that we may do this together.

      And thank you for your kind words about my writing. I enjoy all your postings because I learn so much and your most recent one on the advertisements really highlights how companies lie to us for the sake of profit. It's shameful. Peace.

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  19. Life: full of surprises! I relate to this, Dee. Except, on one surprising point for me (hee hee)--I've started eating a ketogenic diet, which lowers inflammation (because inflammation almost killed me two years ago). And so now I'm eating more butter and no bread (but also no sugar, so forget the icing)! I am surprised so far by feeling better, so I'll probably blog about it. But I'm also learning not to feel so obligated to the internet--that's just me these days. I so love to read your posts and am glad you put them out there.

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    1. Dear Deanna, feeling obligated, I find, is so burdensome. A dear friend is always encouraging me "to go with the flow" and obligation seldom feels like "flow" to me!

      I am addicted to carbs!!!! Peace.

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