Thursday, March 27, 2014

Today's CTCL Appointment


This morning, I’ve sat in my red-upholstered chair here in front of the computer and thought and thought and thought some more about what aspect of my life to write about today. This on-line memoir offers three possibilities: growing-up, convent, and post-convent.                  
         Of the years between birth and entering the convent after college graduation, I’ve reconnoitered only my childhood up to sixth grade at St. Mary’s Grade School in Independence, Missouri.
         I’ve shared with you the convent novitiate years as well as my first two years on mission in Omaha, Nebraska, after making first vows. But there are other stories yet to tell about teaching in Seneca, Baileyville, Atchison, and Kansas City, Kansas.
         Back in 2012, I spent several months posting about getting involved in social justice issues when I was in my thirties. That leaves four decades yet to explore of my life as a single woman who established a career after leaving the convent and then retired to write and enjoy friendship.
         And yet, I find myself simply thoughtless today—lacking any stories to tell. So I will simply reflect on this day here in Independence where the sky is overcast and the day chilly. It’s gray, threatening drizzle.


         Back on Thursday March 6, I posted about the CTCL—cutaneous T-cell lymphoma—that has cropped up again. I have an appointment today with the dermatologist who diagnosed CTCL and who prescribed the light treatments I’ve been doing for the past five and a half weeks. Yesterday I went to the clinic for my sixteenth treatment. Today the dermatologist will assess how my skin is responding to treatment and where I am in the remission cycle.
         When the cancer goes into remission, the skin color changes. For me, it goes from pale pink to a blushing pink then to a dull gray and finally to a darker gray that is a sign of remission. I can already see that several of the blotches are beginning to change color. So that is an excellent sign.
         Because my skin has twice burnt with these recent treatments, I am up to only two and a half minutes a session. Back in 2011, when I went for treatment three times a week for nine months, I kept burning and so never got up to more than four minutes a session. So these sessions are never long. However, I find myself tired afterward. Recently I asked the nurse if other patients got tired, and she replied, “No one’s ever said so.”
         So perhaps this tiredness is of spirit. Or it’s because I do an errand or two after the treatment. Or it truly is that I’m aging and I just don’t have the resilience and energy I used to have. Whatever the cause, I’ve decided that going three times a week is too arduous for me.
         So I’m going to reduce the treatments to twice a week. I suspect the dermatologist will simply remind me that fewer sessions a week mean more weeks of treatment than in the past. But right now I’d prefer to enjoy each week, despite having to go for a longer period of time.
         Also today I’m going to cancel my appointments for tomorrow (Friday), next Monday, and next Wednesday because two friends are coming to visit for several days, starting tomorrow.
         I’m looking forward to taking time off and being with friends. Winter here refuses to admit Spring. I’m hoping that my friends and I will experience together the arrival of its balmy days. Peace. 

       

20 comments:

  1. There is nothing better to lift the spirit than time well spent with good friends. You are a good judge of what is best for yourself and for the time friendship and relaxation should powerfully medicinal to me...

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  2. Joy and friendship is a powerful healer...peace to you! I do hope this weather clears and warms, but we do need rain here in the KC area. Peace and ommmm

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  3. Like they said at the ham factory, aren't you cured yet? I agree with The Broad--enjoy your friends!!

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  4. I probably know my own body best, and my energy level. Sounds like you do, too. Take care of yourself!

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  5. Talking time out for love and laughter sounds a wonderful intermission in your treatment. And, I suspect that LOTS of other people are tired.
    I am really glad to hear that you are putting yourself, and your needs, and your knowledge of those needs, to the top of the queue. Hugs.

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  6. Your friends will give you energy and lift your spirits, of that I'm sure. And being tired while undergoing any kind of medical treatment is absolutely normal.

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  7. I think Linda M is right. We know our own bodies best and no two people will respond to a treatment the same. Think you are smart to listen to your body.
    Enjoy visiting with your friends. They will make the weather seem brighter just by being there. Bet they do wonders for your energy level also.

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  8. Wise to listen to your body and your friends. And pitch into a good night's sleep, night after night. But most of all, enjoy the visit.

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  9. Friends can sure bring energy back and just bring fun, If your body feels crummy, time to back off a bit indeed

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  10. I'm simply taking an antibiotic, no exotic treatments like you are, and I'm tired. I cannot imagine that your body would not need to pull back and heal. I think it's great you will be taking a break and working on your spiritual healing. Peace back to you, dear Dee.

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  11. I loved your post about what is happening right now. Have fun with your company! Sounds like that is just what you need right now to lift your spirits. Enjoy! :)

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  12. Enjoy your time with your friends, Dee, which I hope is rejuvenating for all of you. I somehow find it hard to believe that no one else has mentioned fatigue with the treatments. I admire how you listen to your body and are knowing that right now you need to slow down the treatments and that rest is part of healing. My thoughts are coming you way - and the hope that spring makes an appearance soon.

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  13. You are making the right choices as nothing is better for health and well being than to be surrounded by loving friends.

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  14. Hi there, We are back from ANOTHER trip. This time we were in Georgia checking out yet another waterfall... Check my blog today when you get a chance.

    Bless your heart... So many health problems!!! I know that it gets discouraging... But it sounds like you are making the correct decisions when to have and when not to have those treatments. Enjoy your friends. I know you will.

    Have a great weekend.
    Hugs,
    Betsy

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  15. I love that you are going with your inner Guidance and doing what feels right for you with these treatments. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. And wishing you a very happy birthday.

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  16. Winter has been very reluctant to release its grip here too. But let's take heart. There is a spring in our near future.
    Wishing you peace and joy as we prepare to enter April. :)

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  17. I don't know how I missed your previous post where you mentioned a reoccurrence of your Cancer, Dee. I'm so sorry to hear this. It does sound like you know the treatments and what to expect, and I do trust it will go well. But it isn't an easy time, nonetheless. I am delighted that you have good friends to visit and share with right now. I always enjoy the stories you share of your personal journey and the teaching years. But sometimes it really is nice just to see what one ordinary day looks like. :-) Hugs to you, Dee

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  18. I'm dipping in to blogging again (using the Blogger site I started with years ago, called Stories Happen), and I'm sorry to hear you must go through these treatments, Dee. You sound resigned and courageous. It's good to hear you are hanging in there and good to see you're still faithfully blogging in your peaceful manner. Take care. You remain in my prayers and thoughts.

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  19. Dee
    We were just recently discussing our skin cancers and they are a bugger to get rid of. Hope this last session works well for you. Yes spring is a-cum'n or maybe it has already arrived in Mo. I hope so.

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  20. Dee, I'm not surprised you're feeling tired with all the hospital appointments and at the end of such a long, hard winter. I do hope spring arrives for you soon and that your visitors' company lifts your spirits.

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