Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Finding a Way to Serve


(Continued from Saturday . . . )

The Newsweek article I read in 1988 said that gay men who were HIV-positive or had full-blown AIDS had become the lepers of the twentieth century. Just as lepers had been forced beyond the walls of their towns in first-century Palestine because of the fear of contagion, so these men were being ostracized by society.
            Of course, not only gay men had AIDS, other people as well—children, women, men—who were not gay were also suffering the ravages of the disease. But in 1988, it was known as the “gay disease” because nearly everyone thought that it had originated in the gay community and that the sexual practices of that community spread it among other gay men. (If I’m remembering correctly what I read back in the eighties and nineties, the former statement is false; the latter is true. Any of you who know differently, please let me know and I’d post a more accurate statement.)


            The media used the words epidemic, pandemic, and plague when describing the spread of AIDS across the world. According to Newsweek, those who lived with it were the new outcasts. Who would want to touch them or kiss them or drink even a cup of water with them? They were unclean, as was said of the lepers in first-century Palestine when Yeshua walked its roads. 
           And what had he done when he encountered the leper, the outcast, the unclean—the dregs of a society that judged others and found them wanting?
            He reached out to heal spirit and body. He comforted. He consoled.
            I knew what Yeshua had done. 
            What could I do? What can one person ever do?
            One person can help one. And then another. And another.
            We start with one.
            Out of my own experience of feeling as if I didn’t belong, I could reach out to these men—one by one.
            And so I called the Roman Catholic diocese office in St. Paul. I knew that if anyone was doing anything for those with AIDS it would be the nuns and this was a way, possibly, to find those nuns. There was much I did not appreciate about Roman Catholicism, but who can deny the great work that nuns have done in our country and throughout the world?


A nun treating people injured in the Haiti earthquake.

They have fed the hungry, given sustenance to the impoverished, visited the imprisoned, sheltered the homeless, clothed the naked, buried the dead.


A nun on a motorbike in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

They have taught worldwide; comforted the sick, the sorrowful, the afflicted; served others in every imaginable situation. Some, like Ita Ford, a Maryknoll nun in El Salvador, have been murdered for their efforts to help others.


Ita Ford, Maryknoll nun, murdered in El Salvador in 1980.

            I ask again, “Who can doubt that the vast majority of Catholic nuns have reached out always to the oppressed and the outcasts of our society?” And although I was no longer a nun, I’d learned well from my mother and from the convent and from Yeshua that there is no greater calling then to reach out to others and to unite in our need.
            It is then we discover not only who the other is, but also who we are. And it is only then that we discover our Oneness.
            I cannot remember to whom I spoke at the office of social services. Somehow I got directed to a nun whose name was Joanne. She was in charge of helping those with AIDS who came weekly to St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center for treatment.


St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center in St. Paul, Minnesota,
was renamed Regions Hospital in 1997.

            Joanne interviewed me at length to assess my reasons for volunteering, my attitude toward gays, and my understanding of the extremely remote—nigh on impossible—likelihood of my being infected by AIDS. 
            I must have passed muster for she accepted me as a volunteer for the Tuesday AIDS clinic. Two other women and I would spend our day visiting with any patient who wanted to talk about this or that or these or those or life in general.           
            On Saturday I’ll share those days with you. For three years I volunteered and worked with Darlene and Mary, two of the most kind-hearted and interesting women I ever had the privilege to know. During that time I also became friends with several gay men, but I most remember Robert, Andrew, and Lon. I look forward to introducing them to you.
            Peace.           
                                                                        (Continued on Saturday . . . )

Housekeeping: Last Saturday, Inger posted a review of Twelve Habits of Highly Successful Cats and Their Humans on her blog. Her words brought tears to my eyes. If you’d like to read it, please click here.

Pictures from Wikipedia.

48 comments:

  1. Dee, you are the rarest of the rare, the bravest of the brave and the kindest of souls to have taken on so many of societies ills. Justice should be your middle name.

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    1. Dear Arleen, you know I can say the same things to you. From your comments and your blog, I know that you and I think the same about many, many things. You, too, take a stand for justice. But thank you for your kind words. Please say them to yourself now! Peace.

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  2. What wonderful reviews both your books have received. I have just downloaded Twelve Habits of Highly Successful Cats and Their Owners and look forward to reading it soon.

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    1. Dear Arleen, thank you for downloading Dulcy's companion book. And yes, the reviews have been wonderful and have please me mightily.

      Peace.

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  3. You are one of the few who actually practice what they preach. I feel I am a better person for knowing you!

    I love Bloggerland! If I remember correctly, I introduced you & Inger to each other because I KNEW (without a doubt) she would love you & your writing as much as I do!

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    1. Dear Fishducky, thank you, but you know it's people like Ita Ford and Jean Donovan back in 1980 and nuns today who are speaking out against what the Vatican is saying and doing and the nurses and doctors on the battle front. So many people all over the world are practicing what they preach and that gives me so much hope for the future of our world.

      And yes, you did introduce Inger and myself!

      Peace.

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  4. wow! you are so nice and kind-hearted! :) It's amazing how one person can do something to change to world :)

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    1. Dear Baiba, please read what I said in my response to "Fishducky" right above your comment. There are so many wonderful people--hundreds of thousands of millions upon millions-- who everyday reach out to others and search for the Oneness that unites us. And yes, it is amazing how much one person can do.

      The Jewish tradition has a belief that so long as there are 10 good people in the world it will endure and thrive. When 1 of those 10 dies, another is born. And part of the joy of life is discovering that the 10 is multiplied again and again as we reach out to one another.

      Peace.

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  5. Love, love, love- above all other things, love will show us through. Thank you for your brave and loving heart~

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    1. Dear Shelly, yes! love will show us the way through the quagmire in which our world often seems stuck.

      Peace.

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  6. I believe your statements about AIDS and the gay community to be completely accurate. I always look forward to your posts.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Dear Janie, thanks for assuring me that the two statements are accurate.

      Peace.

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  7. There was quite a furor over aides patients for some time back then. They were definitely treated like lepers. I can hardly wait to read about the people you met! :)

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    1. Dear Rita, at St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center the two physicians who ran the Tuesday clinic were--as my great nieces say--"awesome." They were compassionate men who stood always in Presence.

      Peace.

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  8. At that time AIDS was a world quite remote from mine. I knew no one with AIDs but my heart bled for those afflicted and the shunning they received. Only with in the past ten years have I actually met a person with AIDS. I so admire the early workers like you who were not entirely certain how it was transmitted yet reached out to touch and care for those in pain anyway. You and they are quite amazing.

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    1. Dear Arkansas Patti, you know I felt compelled to volunteer at the AIDS clinic despite some friends cautioning me that all this was "iffy." But the need was there and I just thought I couldn't turn away.

      Peace.

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  9. I look forward to reading all about your adventures in the world of AIDS. I had one dear friend whom I will never forget who died of AIDS. I spent many a day with him, and he taught me so much. I am sure you will also tell stories of these men who meant so much to you. Now I'm off to read the review.

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    1. Dear DJan, I do plan on telling the stories of the men I met, especially Robert, Andrew, and Lon. Each of them taught me so much, just as your friend taught you. The experience they all went through was harrowing and many of them learned wisdom quickly.

      Peace.

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  10. And you, Dee, are one of God's people who talk the talk and then walk the walk! You are significant and I salute you...

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    1. Dear Broad, thank you and thank you also for your posting on that Anglican priest--a woman--who is truly inspiring--and for those two songs you linked your posting to today.

      Peace.

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  11. I admire you so much, Dee, for doing the brave and loving thing always. I'm really looking forward to the next installment!

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    1. Dear Kathy, I never really know what I'm going to write until I'm sitting in front of the computer and the words sort of come. Is it that way for you also? Your postings always seem so well thought out and so filled with wisdom. That wisdom, I'm sure, was hard won and your sharing it with us is your gift to the Universe.

      Peace.

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  12. Who knows how AIDS originated..there are theories, many of them. The one I heard was this one: http://www.africaspeaks.com/articles/2005/0903.html
    I have had some nice friends among gay men... mainly nurses and wonderful at their jobs. (One used to bring crocheting to do on night duty). I don't know why people are gay?? But love must come before judging.
    I used to want to be a nun like Mother Teresa, yet there are many like her who devote their lives in servitude.. May God Bless them richly for their selflessness.

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    1. Dear Crystal, I read avidly and did some scanning of the site you mentioned. It's downright scary to me.

      I agree with you that love always has to come before judging, but mostly I try not to judge and simply to accept that each of us is different and unique and owed respect. I try to reserve judgments for actions that hurt/harm others. Even then, my brain is always searching for the background that led to such hurtful actions.

      As to nuns. Yes may they be blessed for their selflessness.

      Thank you for all your comments. Peace.

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  13. You are such an inspiration to many people you have such a big caring heart and I am proud to consider you a friend.....

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    1. Dear Jo-Anne, so good to hear from you. I'm glad you consider me a friend. We all need the support of one another. Peace.

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  14. Thank you Dee. I am so grateful to the blogosphere for connecting me with such an inspirational caring woman. I well remember the hysteria at the time, when parents pulled children out of school when a class mate had been infected, and the fear that the disease could be caught through the most casual of contacts. So much unnecessary pain inflicted on those who already had more than enough on their plates.

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    1. Dear EC, that word "hysteria" is so accurate to what I remember also. I think of that when it seems to be that society as a whole is over-reacting to something or someone.

      Peace.

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  15. As always, Dee, your writing is provocative and makes me dig deeper into my own thoughts and feelings and your examples of honoring every life are precious. Thank you.

    I have a great respect for nuns, their hard work and service to others. It came to the forefront once again as I read The Midwife... I have herd of a group of aging sisters who have willed their brains to science to aid in the study of Alztheimer's. One of the joyful moments in my life was meeting Sister Helen Prejean after a lecture at Elmhurst College. I find her as gracious as she was courageous.

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    1. Dear Penny, that group of nuns lives in Mankato, MIinnesota. Two professors at the University of Minnesota contacted the order back in the early nineties. They spoke with the nuns about their theory that people who engaged in life-long learning "branched their dendrites" and so recovered sooner from strokes and had less Alzeheimers. Many of the nuns did decide that when they died, their brains would be donated to science to prove or disprove this theory. They filled out long questionnaires about their lives and their learning. All of this is detailed in a book the two men wrote. If I can, I'll try and find its title. I read it when it was first published.

      Peace.

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    2. Dear Penny, I forgot to respond to your mention of Sister Helen Prejean. She truly is a model of commitment for all of us.

      Also, here's a website about that order of nuns and the "branching the dendrites" research. I think, just reading your blog these past months, that you would enjoy the book.

      http://www.nytimes.com/2001/05/07/us/nuns-offer-clues-to-alzheimer-s-and-aging.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm

      Peace.980

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    3. Thank you, Dee. I just read the New York Times article and appreciate you drawing attention to it. It would be interesting to read the book. I'm wondering if there is perhaps an update to it as five years have passed since the article. There are, I am sure, lessons learned from the study. How gracious of the sisters to participate.

      Sister Prejean is, as you say, a role model for commitment, as are you, Dee. I thank you for your many ways of reaching out and helping those in need.

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  16. Your history fascinates me - what a life you have led. Here I am all twitchy on my RV adventure, and you have done so much and done so much for others. You inspire me. I want to let you know that I read 12 Habits and I loved it. Over the next few weeks I hope to write a review worthy of your book and when I do, I'll let you know! In the mean time, I'll go see what Inger said. :)

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    1. Dear Melissa, I'm so glad you enjoyed 12 Habits and I look forward to your review--whenever you write and post it!

      Peace.

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  17. So mush time was wasted instead of searching for a cure.. what a crime that was.
    Thanks to caring people such as you, Dearest Dee.. we have come a long way.
    cheers

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    1. Dear Pam, you're right--so much time wasted and yes, we have come a long way, but there's still such a long way to go with regard to accepting one another's right to be who they are. Peace.

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  18. It is so fascinating reading about all of this--discovering deeper histories for the first time. You've given me such a gift through these postings. :)

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    1. Dear Elisa, I'm glad you are finding all this "fascinating." Because you are too young to know all of this, I'm glad that I can draw your attention to its history. Peace.

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  19. While I do remember bad feelings and fears about HIV/AIDS, I don't remember all that negativity you describe. I wonder if it was because this was California. I knew many men at UCLA infected with the disease. Because I was friends with some, I came to know their friends, and so many of them had AIDS. Actually, in those days, I don't remember it being referred to as HIV. They had AIDS and soon they died. And they all knew it too. I remember going to funerals, seeing all the other men there who would soon die as well. It was really a horrific time.
    Thank you for mentioning my review of your book. People are still coming there and reading it. You should check back and read the latest comments. I seem to be doing it justice in the minds of those who have read it and for that I am very happy.

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    1. Dear Inger, I'll explain more about HIV-positive and AIDS in my next posting--or maybe the one after that. I thought I'd do just one posting on AIDS but already it's two!

      I'm glad to learn that things were different in California. Like you, I remember those funerals. I think I went to about 35 of them.

      Thank you again for the review. I went back and read the comments on your blog and just felt giddy with the delight of them. Your review truly did bring tears to my eyes and I felt so grateful for your words. Thank you.

      Peace.

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  20. I just read Inger's comment about California, and I think there's some truth to it not being quite as negative. The Hollywood community began to mobilize quite quickly and people like Elizabeth Taylor created a stable positive influence that countered a lot of unfounded negative backlash, and replaced it with a positive face. It was still difficult to get services to the very ill and dying, and individuals who otherwise were compassionate didn't want to volunteer and get too close. There was a stigma about catching AIDS...and for that, you certainly knew how others would think, but you volunteered anyway. You have a compassionate soul, Dee. Debra

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    1. Dear Debra, as I responded to Inger, I'm so glad that the response was less negative in California. Like you, I believe Elizabeth Taylor had a lot to do with that. She herself was a real survivor in life and she used her hard-won strength to support those who became ill with AIDS. I so admire her for that. Peace.

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  21. Dee, you will always find a way to serve, because that urge to identify with and help suffering humanity is an integral part of who and what you are. You are an inspiration to us all.

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    1. Dear Perpetua, I believe that all you've said about me can be said about you. I'm reading a series of books by M.C. Beaton in which there is a character who reminds me of you--as I've learned to know you through your blog and comments.

      The series is the Agatha Raisin mysteries. The character is the vicar's wife (I know that doesn't apply!!!!!) whose name is Mrs. Bloxby. She is such a wise, gentle, compassionate person who sees so clearly the arc of life.

      Peace.

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    2. That is such a sweet thing to say, Dee. I don't know the series you mention, though I've heard of the author. I've now made a note to check the library catalogue when I get back from France and read a couple to see if I can spot a resemblance. :-)

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    3. Excuse me for chiming in, but, I just had to as Agatha Raisin is a favorite series of mine and I would agree with Dee regarding Mrs. Bloxby! They are such fun reads with a bit of mystery in them.

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  22. I agree, nuns do brave, important work in this world. Your story of reaching out is so inspiring!

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    1. Dear Emily, and today, amidst what is happening with Vatican edicts, it's so important that we share with one another the good that nuns to. They live the Gospel message. Peace.

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