tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post5220920058414954103..comments2024-02-21T14:12:55.866-06:00Comments on coming home to myself: Feeling Guilty for an Adult's ActionsDeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-1069316148795810992014-08-15T16:35:32.518-05:002014-08-15T16:35:32.518-05:00I am just sick for you! I hope that creep was cau...I am just sick for you! I hope that creep was caught and punished. I really do!<br />Linda<br />http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com <br /><br />Terry and Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11016496778254072639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-21304944172224601532013-02-15T09:03:40.496-06:002013-02-15T09:03:40.496-06:00Dear Broad, yes, I was blessed in my parents. With...Dear Broad, yes, I was blessed in my parents. Within a few weeks, I'll be posting about something that happened in the summer after fifth grade that reveals a weakness in my father. We all have these weaknesses, but some are harder on us than others. <br /><br />I'm relieved to learn that you were able to extricate yourself from the incidents you mention. I immediately blamed myself for Mr. Jackson's actions. I simply was unable to accept that an adult could be in the wrong. I surely wore "rosy-colored" glasses. I couldn't even fault my father for his drinking. If only I were different, I thought, he wouldn't drink. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-91600581660448639932013-02-15T08:50:29.981-06:002013-02-15T08:50:29.981-06:00I read this post a while ago and found it to upset...I read this post a while ago and found it to upsetting to comment on at the time. It reminded me of a couple of incidents in my own life -- although I was able to extricate myself from the situation I still remember the shock and disbelief that adults I should have been able to trust were in fact leading vile and destructive lives. Thank goodness that your parents did believe you and did something about it. The Broadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04976467218216864644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-70917206738523019392013-02-09T09:53:00.337-06:002013-02-09T09:53:00.337-06:00Dear Juli, I truly wonder if my little brother or ...Dear Juli, I truly wonder if my little brother or the man's sons knew what was happening. We were all pretty innocent. I wasn't even sure what was going on. I certainly couldn't put a name to it. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-52737637490954805272013-02-09T09:41:52.548-06:002013-02-09T09:41:52.548-06:00Dear Heidrun, I agree with everything you've s...Dear Heidrun, I agree with everything you've said here. Sexual abuse is so horrific because it can affect all of one's life. And sometimes the lives of others as well. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-19654226824546193562013-02-08T14:59:39.051-06:002013-02-08T14:59:39.051-06:00The power that adults have over children has alway...The power that adults have over children has always made me sad when they abuse it. And over my lifetime I have heard of many and witnessed some that I tried to get resolved but the system seems to favour men and believe them. Only now is that beginning to change.<br />Sexual abuse is the single worst issue that never seems to improve regardless of religion or higher education. The wealthy and the poor are victims. Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16174142810114806410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-40425868967100152502013-02-01T14:36:28.471-06:002013-02-01T14:36:28.471-06:00Dear Rosie, I don't know what drives the peopl...Dear Rosie, I don't know what drives the people who molest and abuse children. I wonder if part of the urge isn't arrested maturity. I never asked my brother if he saw anything. In fact, I never talked about all this until I saw a psychiatrist in 1975.<br />So I would have been 39 years old. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-86670555438539527472013-02-01T12:42:55.982-06:002013-02-01T12:42:55.982-06:00I stopped breathing as I read your story. I cannot...I stopped breathing as I read your story. I cannot imagine what kind of pervert would do that to a child. I wept for you and that poor little girl on the front seat with you. ((sigh))<br /><br />Its so sad that you felt you couldn't tell your Mum.<br />Did you ever ask your brother whether he saw anything? dearrosiehttp://rosannefreed.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-38706536234807062582013-01-30T09:02:55.193-06:002013-01-30T09:02:55.193-06:00Dear Nancy, I'm so grieved to learn that you t...Dear Nancy, I'm so grieved to learn that you too had this happen. And yes, I know just what you mean by the thinking that it is we who are the bad seed. I wonder if those who do this--the perpetrators--have any understanding at all about the effects of their actions. Do they have a moral compass? I just don't know. Peace. Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-51065617171323055802013-01-30T08:13:54.413-06:002013-01-30T08:13:54.413-06:00Oh, Dee! How sad that such a horrible thing happe...Oh, Dee! How sad that such a horrible thing happened to you! So many of us were molested as children and never told because we felt it must have been something we did! I thought I was a bad seed! I have always wondered how people live with themselves when they've done something so awful! nancygraycehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05288996419936475583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-76146745708202744672013-01-29T13:23:11.737-06:002013-01-29T13:23:11.737-06:00Dear Michelle, thank you. And yes, it happens to s...Dear Michelle, thank you. And yes, it happens to so many of us. I remember reading your memoir and what happened with you. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-44865739531445960112013-01-29T13:07:11.035-06:002013-01-29T13:07:11.035-06:00Oh Dee. I hate that this happened to you. I'm ...Oh Dee. I hate that this happened to you. I'm so very sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry it happens to so many of us. fullsoulahead.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04053261523883986863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-47911987978842276262013-01-28T23:02:07.851-06:002013-01-28T23:02:07.851-06:00Dear Friko, yes, the children suffering everywhere...Dear Friko, yes, the children suffering everywhere--from abuse and war and poverty and homelessness and all the darkness that can be found in our world amidst its beauty. As an adult, I got professional help when I was in my 30s. But so many women and men, also, who are sexually abused or molested (as I was) never do get help. <br /><br />I hope that in next Wednesday's posting I've have space to say something about what happened to Mr. Jackson. If not, I'm going to tell this story in three episodes! Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-60859522986704433262013-01-28T17:32:12.044-06:002013-01-28T17:32:12.044-06:00Whenever I hear a story like yours I feel very ang...Whenever I hear a story like yours I feel very angry. I am afraid I am not a good Christian, my first thought is: I hope he got what he deserved.<br /><br />Poor Dee and poor children suffering everywhere. The only hope is that you find help in coping with abuse.Frikohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04277167831642088694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-41583117552491108012013-01-27T17:08:47.852-06:002013-01-27T17:08:47.852-06:00Dear Pam, so many children suffer through abuse th...Dear Pam, so many children suffer through abuse that I have come to think that I really suffered very little for it ended in three months. The truth is though that the episode affected me greatly for many years. Thank you, Pam, for your concern. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-75911324838052532062013-01-26T16:52:55.556-06:002013-01-26T16:52:55.556-06:00No child nor adult fro that matter should ever hav...No child nor adult fro that matter should ever have to endure what you have, Dee. I sorry you suffered so in your childhood.<br /><br />Be well and Happy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-53396780748965744512013-01-26T13:41:18.432-06:002013-01-26T13:41:18.432-06:00Dear Inger, like you, I was deeply touched by Bets...Dear Inger, like you, I was deeply touched by Betsy's comment. Such honesty about a trauma like she endured is truly exceptional. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-69487433446596033992013-01-26T13:40:18.475-06:002013-01-26T13:40:18.475-06:00Dear Mary, thank you. I, too, wish that I could ch...Dear Mary, thank you. I, too, wish that I could change the outcome and yet I know that the experience has helped me relate to other women in a way I might not have without this early experience. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-85087808070110614972013-01-26T13:39:17.001-06:002013-01-26T13:39:17.001-06:00Dear Betsy, what a blessing you are to all of us. ...Dear Betsy, what a blessing you are to all of us. You've shared a story that must be hard to tell and you've done so with such honesty in this comment. I know it will help anyone who reads it. <br /><br />I'm printing here the URL for the posting in which you shared your story on your own blog. I'm sure it will help many readers who either know someone who has endured abuse or who have young children and relatives whom they can help. <br /><br />Here's the URL for Betsy's posting on her own experience and forgiveness:<br />http://betsyfromtennessee.blogspot.com/2011/05/truth-about-forgiveness.html<br /><br />Betsy, thank you so much for this comment. I so admire your fortitude and perseverance. I'm not surprised that your mom didn't believe me. I've heard many times about women who don't believe their daughters when they tell them about incest. What a blessing George is in your life. A true blessing from the Universe as you are a blessing yourself. Peace now and always.<br />Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-34513748610916872202013-01-26T12:36:32.432-06:002013-01-26T12:36:32.432-06:00I am so sorry this happened to you. It's so sa...I am so sorry this happened to you. It's so sad that children twist things around and feel guilty when these atrocities are done to them. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, it brings tears to my eyes. I was also deeply touched by Betsy's comment above and will visit her blog to let her know. Ingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02924736131382149056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-89448776527975414352013-01-26T11:10:19.561-06:002013-01-26T11:10:19.561-06:00Sometimes I come upon something I deeply wish I co...Sometimes I come upon something I deeply wish I could do a rewrite on...change the facts, change the outcome....this is one of those times for me. ~MaryAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-50582292027980488192013-01-25T19:30:02.478-06:002013-01-25T19:30:02.478-06:00I relate to your story somewhat since I was sexual...I relate to your story somewhat since I was sexually abused by my brother --who was 12 yrs. older than I was... The saddest part for me was when I was a teen, I finally had the strength to tell my mother what was going on.. WELL---she didn't believe me. (My brother was always her favorite.) That hurt worse than the fact that I had been sexually abused.<br /><br />What did I do? My brother left home and never bothered me again. He died in 1985 from cancer. My mother never EVER talked to me about it again ---and I never mentioned it again to her. It was as if it never happened at all.<br /><br />I went on with my life --but there was some deep scaring inside of me. My weight soared --and it affected my first marriage. I spent much of my adult life trying to be perfect --working a million hours a day but never taking care of myself. I excelled in my career ---but there was something missing.<br /><br />FINALLY--when I was in my 50's, I had a minister friend whom I confided in. He convinced me to get some counseling --which I did. It helped tremendously. (Don't know why I waited so long.)<br /><br />I began thinking about ME---and began taking care of myself. I moved away from family and friends and started OVER. Soon after I moved to TN, I met George Adams. We fell in love and got married --and I have been happier these past almost 12 yrs. than I had been in my entire life. George loves me for me --and helps me to love myself, forgive my mother and brother (Mom died in 1991), and accept myself as a good person.<br /><br />We all have our stories to tell--some similar, some different. I look back on my life --and truly, I did have a good life overall. I raised 3 wonderful sons ---and did well financially.<br /><br />Right now though, I thank God for George Adams and what he has brought to me. I feel as if my life began at age 59!!!<br /><br />Hugs,<br />BetsyBetsy Banks Adamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16223591156634767330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-5228281357831575032013-01-25T13:14:45.125-06:002013-01-25T13:14:45.125-06:00Dear Stephanie, thank you for your concern. I'...Dear Stephanie, thank you for your concern. I'm sure that as the mother of a little girl you worry at times about something like this happening to Peanut. One of the differences between her and the little girl--myself--I wrote about is that in today's world we talk more openly of this possibility with our children. That's a blessing. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-16959471957372216142013-01-25T12:50:48.079-06:002013-01-25T12:50:48.079-06:00That never should have happened to you. I'm so...That never should have happened to you. I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing this with us. This is an alarming and heartbreaking story. I'm so sorry. Stephanie Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08117481136259148223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-88500823111919127852013-01-25T12:20:21.318-06:002013-01-25T12:20:21.318-06:00Dear Arleen, the most horrible thought for me is t...Dear Arleen, the most horrible thought for me is that this is part of so many children's lives right now. Thank you, Arleen, for your words about my life. I've been blessed in so ways that I feel truly that life has been a miracle. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.com