tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post1046766015602300149..comments2024-02-21T14:12:55.866-06:00Comments on coming home to myself: Pursuing Peace—#2Deehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-52421893421925185672017-07-25T13:23:34.662-05:002017-07-25T13:23:34.662-05:00Dear Penny, yes, that hillside was my refuge and I...Dear Penny, yes, that hillside was my refuge and I can still picture it today as clearly as I could then. Now a mantra is what I say when I find myself a little anxious. Also, I meditate. It is then I truly feel part of Oneness. <br /><br />I think, Penny, that all children have the ability to find a refuge within themselves. Children themselves always cause me to marvel. Their resilience--or least most children's--seems like a miracle to me. I've met it in the classroom. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-8001533783458221662017-07-25T09:59:53.591-05:002017-07-25T09:59:53.591-05:00Well, Dee, your words and reflections as well as t...Well, Dee, your words and reflections as well as those of all of your commenters give me much to contemplate. Your "hillside" was your refuge. I am marveling over how instinctively you found that place at such a young age. Penny O'Neillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14665025558373015362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-53769371526151464982017-07-12T09:43:53.891-05:002017-07-12T09:43:53.891-05:00Dear Betsy, thank you for your comment, it sums up...Dear Betsy, thank you for your comment, it sums up, I think, what most of us feel about peace and about the wonder of friends in our lives. How do we find those "right" people who touch our lives with so much goodness? I don't know. That remains mystery for me. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-80915614327754168562017-07-11T13:33:28.876-05:002017-07-11T13:33:28.876-05:00YES---unfortunately, there will always be dissens...YES---unfortunately, there will always be dissension... That is hard for me also because I always want to see and feel that calm/wonderful/peaceful place where there is nothing by JOY/LOVE/UNDERSTANDING..... <br /><br />We all need people in our lives. People are human and full of uniqueness. People have flaws; people sin; people don't always believe or look like we do; People disappoint us.... <br /><br />BUT--in the midst of that, people love us and all of our uniqueness... People are there for us... People admire us... People are fun to be with.... <br /><br />How to we find the 'right' people who will help us find that peace --through all of the hard times?????? <br /><br />Hugs,<br />BetsyBetsy Banks Adamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16223591156634767330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-58097570155393365162017-07-11T11:43:06.083-05:002017-07-11T11:43:06.083-05:00Dear Troutbirder, I am so sorry that all this is h...Dear Troutbirder, I am so sorry that all this is happening in your life right now. As one of the commenters said, disassociation seems to be a way to cope. I suspect that at some points those tears will come, but I know that if they did now it would be a comfort to you. Be gracious to yourself, please. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-78801486027536253932017-07-11T10:22:08.839-05:002017-07-11T10:22:08.839-05:00What a sad but in the end heartwarming story.My ow...What a sad but in the end heartwarming story.My own experience mirrors Ritas in some ways. Having lost a son and caretaking a spouse with dementia and other family issues I'm still unable to cry. Diassociation does seem to cover it....troutbirderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14087811292280881959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-20592502445192013662017-07-10T11:02:41.029-05:002017-07-10T11:02:41.029-05:00Dear DJan, I know about those conversations! Dad&#...Dear DJan, I know about those conversations! Dad's were long and rambling and sometimes I couldn't make sense of them, but they did happen. I suspect you are right about the alcohol helping him cope. I think it was the same for my dad. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-69299469974260539342017-07-10T07:44:56.417-05:002017-07-10T07:44:56.417-05:00My father was an alcoholic, too, but I always enjo...My father was an alcoholic, too, but I always enjoyed those long conversations he had with me when he was drunk. He was only occasionally violent when drinking, but he only lived to be 62, dying of a heart attack that was caused by his stopping drinking. A month after he stopped, he had a massive coronary event, and I've always thought it was because alcohol was how he coped. I'm glad you found a way to survive, Dee, and thank you so much for sharing it.DJanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07152183871573797791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-91744609997350091972017-07-09T18:09:42.675-05:002017-07-09T18:09:42.675-05:00Dear Jo-Anne, it was a tense environment but when ...Dear Jo-Anne, it was a tense environment but when Dad wasn't drinking he was a delightful man and I knew always that he loved me. Actually, he cherished me as the baby he and Mom had waited for over eight years after they married. Still, I can't deny that at times all I wanted was for Mom to leave him. But after her death, he and I, in our loss, became the best of friends. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-66323868646494851202017-07-09T17:27:04.228-05:002017-07-09T17:27:04.228-05:00I cannot imagine growing up in such an environment...I cannot imagine growing up in such an environment my dad went through a stage when he drank too much but he was never violent and mum and dad rarely fought. Jo-Anne's Ramblingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11418152399382818709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-37258368843350282932017-07-09T15:18:05.777-05:002017-07-09T15:18:05.777-05:00Dear Patti, you probably didn't have time to r...Dear Patti, you probably didn't have time to read the comments left here, but because of what you've said, I'd like to suggest that you read the comments left by Cynthia, Rita, and Joanne. All are about "disassociation," which, come to find out, is what I was doing. So I've really learned something from this posting. Peace be to you.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-91554470327488995192017-07-09T13:56:58.109-05:002017-07-09T13:56:58.109-05:00It is amazing that you were aware enough to find a...It is amazing that you were aware enough to find a safe place in your imagination to go to when things got ugly. The mind is very clever when trying to keep the harm away. Finding that safe place is a tool too often we lose as we grow up. Arkansas Pattihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156004753267665579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-32033345474435707782017-07-09T12:42:03.727-05:002017-07-09T12:42:03.727-05:00Dear Fishducky, I watched Josh Groan's "S...Dear Fishducky, I watched Josh Groan's "Stages" on PBS a few months ago--or weeks maybe--and heard this song. I immediately thought. "YES!" Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-25573493237807808272017-07-09T12:41:15.969-05:002017-07-09T12:41:15.969-05:00Dear Joanne, what a remarkable way you found to co...Dear Joanne, what a remarkable way you found to cope with pain. And what a great gift you have given your grandson. I, too, found a way that I hope to write about soon. It involves the color blue.<br /><br />It's vastly interesting to me that your "magic" technique helped you investigate other aspects of your life. Until I read your words, I didn't realize that I do that also with my coping device. It's wonderful that we've been fortunate enough to find--in the deep center of ourselves where Oneness dwells--a way to find peace. Thank you so much for sharing. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-37828551799140620762017-07-09T12:38:43.856-05:002017-07-09T12:38:43.856-05:00Dear Rita, as I said, it's a new word for me. ...Dear Rita, as I said, it's a new word for me. It truly was a coping device. The emotion that has given me the most problem is anger. For years, thinking it always negative, I pushed it down. Dr. Nimlos helped me with that too.<br /><br />How hard it must have been for you to associate with your feelings after so long a time. And in your posts there is most always joy. That's an emotion you live. <br /><br />We are indeed "remarkable, adaptable creature." Thank heavens. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-60068612342977954902017-07-09T12:21:25.329-05:002017-07-09T12:21:25.329-05:00Yes, that's what I thought of right away also-...Yes, that's what I thought of right away also--disassociation. Sometimes you have to do that to cope--to survive. When I was in counseling in my 30s she told me I dissociated from my emotions. That is how I found peace. Took me decades to learn how to cry. I could cry at a movie or a book or the news, but not over something that hurt me personally. We all find ways to survive. We are remarkable, adaptable creatures.Ritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02043285884495492598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-90868965782159158802017-07-09T12:06:19.763-05:002017-07-09T12:06:19.763-05:00That song is perfect for you!!That song is perfect for you!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-59037601823503069662017-07-09T09:43:34.680-05:002017-07-09T09:43:34.680-05:00How many paths we've all walked, to the center...How many paths we've all walked, to the center. I completed a medical questionnaire today, and wondered again why I am still here. My first life threatening episode happened at six months, and I do not recall it. But from an early age I do remember pain, back when pain relief was not available. I taught myself to succumb, to listen, to be hypnotized by the pain, and eventually to pass out. It's a magic technique and I found I could apply it to investigating many aspects of my life.<br />I taught my grandson. He was four, and I found him whimpering in the middle of the night, with an earache. I produced the obligatory hot water bottle, then sat on the bed, hand on his cheek, and whispered: breath with it. In Out. Hear it. Don't fight. He went to sleep. We went to the doctor in the morning. Of course his ear drum had burst, somthing that simply doesn't happen to children these days, who live close to medicine (we didn't). He's twenty odd years old now, and told me once that's how he works on current problems.Joanne Noragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16601010208310707750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-20660320794017600312017-07-09T09:14:38.830-05:002017-07-09T09:14:38.830-05:00Dear Cynthia, I didn't know that word "di...Dear Cynthia, I didn't know that word "disassociation" but I can see exactly how it fits what I did and what you did. I, too, go deep into meditation and find peace there. A letting go and simply being. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-44508598226760718122017-07-09T09:13:32.239-05:002017-07-09T09:13:32.239-05:00Dear Heidrun, I think that so many years of Cathol...Dear Heidrun, I think that so many years of Catholic school training by nuns was part of my thinking that all people had the same values and goals about goodness. Not sure about that. I know only that Mom expected the best and I tried to always be the best I could be. And yes peace challenges me and probably will until I die. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-89858375679863054252017-07-09T05:58:24.969-05:002017-07-09T05:58:24.969-05:00I learned to dissociate as a child, too. The war a...I learned to dissociate as a child, too. The war affected my dad as, the opposite of yours, he DID go to war. Not because of marital arguing but because of the crying and moaning all night and I believed he was sick and going to die. <br />Sometimes I wonder when I meditate and go very deep if it isn't the same as the dissociating I did as a child to cope. Or maybe the reason I am very good at meditating. <br />Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Dee. <br />Cynthiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16035113274497372396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-91711265550367318292017-07-08T23:17:42.541-05:002017-07-08T23:17:42.541-05:00When Inread your pists like this one I wonder how ...When Inread your pists like this one I wonder how you came to believe your values were more universal than they actually are. And you have written posts before that gave accounts of the harsh side of people. Peace seems to be a very imortant concept to you yet it challenges you even now.<br />I believe peace is a physical connection to our universe. Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16174142810114806410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-87739263420350771782017-07-08T20:51:50.216-05:002017-07-08T20:51:50.216-05:00Dear Sue, I'm fortunate that Mom tried to guid...Dear Sue, I'm fortunate that Mom tried to guide me away from black/white--wrong/right. She used to say, when I would complain about something a classmate had done or something she/he had said, "'Everyone to their own desires,'" said Mrs. O'Mara as she kissed the cow." Puzzled I asked, the first time she said it, what it meant and she explained that everyone thinks differently, loves differently, has different dreams of what is important in life. <br /><br />I never forgot that and yet always--for more years than I care to admit--I expected everyone to be the same--kind, upright, compassionate, hopeful. Those were the virtues I strove for and I assumed everyone else did. But finally, Mom's words took root. And I'm able to let people just be who they are. Able also to let me be who I am and to appreciate myself . . . and them. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195629195750583833.post-91080182875574860592017-07-08T17:46:44.033-05:002017-07-08T17:46:44.033-05:00That blissful scene did indeed save you. Sadly I ...That blissful scene did indeed save you. Sadly I doubt that at the time you could have coped with a reality which involved dissent. It would have been too close to the terror which gripped you, and needed a quiet hillside to escape from.<br />Dissent is something I think a lot of us wrestle with. I know I do. What is right for me, may not be for you - but I tend to black and white/right and wrong views. Which is silly of me.<br />Hugs.Elephant's Childhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06650565833097914052noreply@blogger.com